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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    人生不需要恍然大悟,只需要努力改變

    2019-07-04 . 閱讀: 704 views

    /德魯伊

    據說中年男人除了眼前的油膩和枸杞,還有遠方好為人師的劣習。于是,德叔有一些學生,叫我師傅或師父。

    “德叔,我想學心理學課程,我要報班。”

    “好啊,學吧,養不成學習習慣,就強制學習,花了錢肉緊心疼,或許可以學點東西。”

    “德叔,我學好了給你心理咨詢,收你八折。”

    “好的,你敢收就行。”

    這個孩子,屬于典型自虐型人格,工作高管,工資不錯。雖然忙些亂些,但還算老板賞識,待遇還行。但是,怨靈附體,定期就是懟天懟地。一會兒是罵老板神經質,一會兒是怨團隊素質低,一會兒是自己付出回報少,一會兒是嫌工作得不到認可,沒有生活、只有工作……累得像狗,活得不如狗的感覺。

    “只要你的老板,在現實的情境下,還能付得起你的工資,還在讓你工作,你還要什么呢?”

    “再說,你的生活不如意,是你生活習慣、生活方式的問題,干嘛似乎工作讓你都無法正常生活了?”

    “德叔,你不懂,真的不是我的問題,真的是老板有問題……”

    “好吧,好吧。”

    過了幾日,他發了信息我,“德叔,我知道珍惜了,現在發得起工資的老板比大熊貓都少,我們老板再難也在發工資,我一定要珍惜工作,遠離怨念,好好努力。”

    “恍然大悟?”“是啊,是啊,恍然大悟,日見精進。”

    “人生不需要恍然大悟,只需要努力改變吧。”

    “德叔,不明白,你說什么?”

    “沒什么,你忙你的吧。”

    ***

    我們總是渴望恍然大悟,但每一個恍然大悟之前,我們難道都是懵懵懂懂?我們“看不見”我們應該“看見”的。我們卻篤定自己對自己的認知,對環境的判斷,然后突然靈光一閃,大徹大悟。

    人的求生欲還是蠻強的,總會在快要溺死的時候突然警醒,跟做個噩夢突然醒來差不多;人還是有榮辱感的,評價自己的體系總還是有的,是不是正常是不是在軌,跑偏了真遇到一個路牌或是信號燈,還是能發現問題的,雖然自己內心的地圖導航已經一塌糊涂。

    德叔我基本是個虐待狂,喜歡拍磚。偶爾有人就很受用,覺得我的磚既狠且準。其實我經常說,除了因為我還算有慈悲心的“狠”之外,磚拍下去,你愿意醒才行,其實你都愿意醒了,要不要德叔的磚都成。否則的話,我就是拿磚拍得你血肉模糊,血呼刺啦,你要么覺得我拍的沒水平、地方不對,要么自己都把自己全麻了,“不疼不疼”。

    真到醒悟,恍然大悟,豁然開朗,世界變得都不一樣了。擁抱新世界吧,與過去一刀兩斷吧。可又有多少人真的能為之改變?多半你不會把背后的門關上,隨時冷了熱了難了,立馬抽身回去。

    于是乎,你有多么的恍然大悟,你就有多么的半途而廢。

    原因其實很簡單,不管是美夢還是噩夢,你總是會安慰自己這是夢。真到醒來了,醒著的你總不能不承擔該承擔的責任,不去做醒著的事情。無路可退,無理由可講,這不好玩也很殘忍。

    恍然大悟多半是知道自己錯在哪了,也知道了對的樣子。唯一需要解決的是,中間的行動在什么時刻開始。明天?今天?此刻?

    從恍然大悟到煥然一新,任何嘗試割裂過去、清空過往,都無濟于事。或許從手機下個書、刪除一兩個軟件或游戲、刪除一些群和聯系人、換個造型、斷舍離一下屋子、拒絕吃一些食物……

    再升華些,隨時反思是不是自己是“錯的”、否定自己的第一反應和決策、第一反應這是別人的事情改成“不行我試試”、讀些過去啃不動的書、了解這個世界運行的知識、放棄心理學的學習……

    有個段子說,到今天你還覺得自己過得無悔,多半你這些年從來沒有成長。恍然大悟總比渾渾噩噩好,但只要你沒有努力改變,那這些恍然大悟只會讓你痛恨這個世界這個人生,痛恨自己的不堪。

    “改變”是一個奇妙的詞匯,第一是開始,第二是保證不退回原狀。向前一步,退后一步的事情,你是覺得咱也行動了,但壓根沒有改變。

    不退才能前進,關上背后的門,向前走一步。

    恍然大悟才有價值。

    左岸記:頓悟是一件開心的事,頓悟是一件因人而異的事,頓悟需要一個觸發點,來的非常突然,在某個瞬間就發生了。但要理解這個點,卻是需要非常的積累和思考,這樣,才能從一件事一種現象當中看出背后的邏輯,那個靈魂點,把握住了這個點,任其千變萬化,都可以看清本質。所以,沒有突然的恍然大悟,只有努力過后的水到渠成。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    發表評論



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