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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    你會敗給誰?

    2019-06-21 . 閱讀: 704 views

    文/德魯伊

    我還年輕的時候,有個老哥告訴我:你能戰勝一切,包括自己,但一定會敗給時間。

    我很不以為然,我覺得人會敗給自己,時間只是幸災樂禍的看戲罷了。

    我一直希望能戰勝時間,于是很努力的生活,看起來也比實際年齡小很多,貌似我已經戰勝了時間。但我覺得很難戰勝自己,雖然我認為性格總是能改變的,但骨子里的很多東西,遇到大些的事情,還是左右了自己走的路。

    我覺得優秀是一種習慣,習慣其實來自于不停的重復。比如我冥想,我打坐,我運動。我不是那種運動上癮的人,每次運動前,我都很糾結。腦子里的兩個小人會吵架,運動有時候很痛苦,雖然運動完很舒服。于是,我知道,人雖然是趨利避害的,喜歡享樂的,但還是明白有些快樂愉悅,是先有痛苦才有快樂的。

    雖然我不相信2萬小時定律,因為自己愿意重復和被動重復畢竟是兩回事。但類似寫作什么的,確確實實是不停重復的事情。一段時間不碼字我是不舒服的,不管是寫給誰,自己或是別人。不舒服的時候就寫,寫完就舒服了,蠻好的感覺。

    我不擅長經營人際關系,但我擅長樹立個人形象。于是,我不是很害怕久不聯絡的朋友,再聯絡的時候疏遠。每個人都有自己需要忙活的,忙活著就好。我還是我,不管是我需要他們了,還是他們需要我了,都顯得很理所應當和如舊。

    對待時間的態度就是對待人生的態度。畏懼時間的荒廢而不是恐懼時間的流逝,這個才應該是對待時間的態度。我會擔心,未來的時間我應該做些什么,還能做些什么,和什么樣的人做,還會遇到什么樣的人。

    其實一直覺得,你能擔當的人生,才是你自己的人生。我們大多數情況,都會把責任推給外界的人、事、環境。但你越被這些左右,你越沒用選擇權,你越看似不擔一點責任,但你還是需要對你的人生負責。結果是,你越不擔當,你越“被”擔當。

    “我”是個奇妙的字眼,很多人的目標就是,“活好我自己就行”。但可憐見的,你活在這個社會里,“我”總是周邊各類關系的總和。我和一個朋友說,其實“我”是你周遭親密關系的總和,你想要“我”活得好,你這周遭愛你的、你愛的,最好都還不錯,否則你這個“我”,活不好,就算現在活得好,未來也活不好。

    其實時間走著,你周遭的人也進進出出,除了那些死去的人。剩下的,多半都是主動選擇離開,或你主動選擇放棄。有些人說,時間沖淡了一切,其實每一次的進進出出,都是主動選擇的結果。你想推給時間的一切借口,都會原封不動的還給你加倍的悲傷。

    我喜歡“見路不走”這個詞兒,一切的順理成章,都會讓你覺得意猶未盡。偶爾選擇在自己,判斷在自己,那些看似坦途的路,不去選擇。是一件很爽的事情。時間很平等,不會對你太惡意,只有你對自己惡意,這個人生才充滿兇險。

    ***

    想不敗給時間?

    怕是心態要年輕點,保持學習的能力吧。

    或是明白習慣的重要性,哪怕痛苦也要堅持?

    再不行,重復自己的努力,讓自己更專業些,更有用些?

    還需要,擔當些自己,有個好的個人形象,有趣些,善良些,人們更喜歡你一些。

    總有些愛你的人存在,總有些你愛的人活著。給他們多點時間,多點照顧,我們總是討好那些不愛你的人,時間就這樣的荒廢掉了。

    主動選擇離開一些人,主動選擇放棄某些事,這是你戰勝時間的法寶之一吧。

    于是,時間還是驗證了一切,老哥還是說的對。

    左岸記:德叔最后給大家的建議都是非常棒的。保持學習力可以讓我們和世界一直保持很好的聯接;養成好的習慣,突破了痛苦的臨界點,就能享受習慣帶來的快樂;哪怕是一生只簡單重復地把一件事做到極致,那也是相當成功的;愛你所愛的人,也愛那些對你真的好的人,時間要用在對的人身上。如此,時間什么的都不過是見證者,而你也會是個有趣的人,善良的人,懂得生活的人。

    德魯伊Druid

    德魯伊,70后。理工科碩士,喜歡寫作,職業經理人。 人入中年,攜妻帶子,止思踐行,與世界融洽、與自己坦然,充滿快樂生活的勇氣。 “質樸、靈動、喜悅、淡和”是為人生準則,“于人有用,于己有趣”是為人生標準。 文風以毀雞湯、靜心冥想、兒童教育、心理應用等見長。 著有: 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得 2》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《沒走過的是路,走過的才是人生》(心智成熟心理學作品,作家出版社出版), 《在疲憊的世間任性的活》(散文雜文集,文匯出版社)

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