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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    我所理解的幸福和痛苦

    2019-05-17 . 閱讀: 963 views

    文/Sanding

    痛苦是幸福的源動力,這句話其實是很難理解的。如果沒有在生活中不停地實踐和反思,是永遠無法體會這個道理的。

    上學的時候,我感覺自己還是很明智的,懂得要在社會中生存就一定要學一些基礎知識。大二時, 跟著室友聽新概念直播課程,最終堅持聽完,覺得辛苦的付出很值得,因為現在作為一名程序員, 需要用到英語地方很多,無論是讀英語書籍還是看國外網站或者博客都沒有什么壓力。

    考研的經歷也收獲了很多。在備考期間反思了很多問題,比如這個世界存在對與錯嗎,反思自己的學習方法、思考方式。后來發現自己一直都用錯了力,結果沒考不上研究生。

    在備考的那幾個月里,是非常辛苦的。每天天不見亮就起床,跟兩個要好的同學一起在路燈下讀英語。那段時間很辛苦,但英語水平提高了很多,也收獲了珍貴的友誼。

    到了考試,我和一起讀書的好同學去別的大學參加考試。這個過程很累,考到最后一門課,自己感覺都快沒有心力做下去了。

    考完試,坐公交車回學校途中,我在人生中第一次體會到什么是幸福感, 那個感覺無法用語言進行描述,就是幸福到自己偷偷流下眼淚來。

    那個時候已經無所謂考上還是考不上,因為我樹立了終生學習的意識,深刻體會到時間的珍貴,也感覺到人生來就是要先吃苦的,因為吃了苦,抗住了壓力挺過來后會體會到那種由心底涌出的幸福感,這種幸福感是人世間最美的東西了。

    在平時生活和工作中,雖然有時還是會恐懼一些東西,但因為有了心理準備,有了抗壓力,終究都是會抗過來的,那是一種柳暗花明的眼前一亮,焦慮和煩惱也跟著煙消云散了。

    沒考上,這真的沒有關系。因為我得到另外的收獲。痛苦過后的幸福感,時間的珍貴性,別人好的思考方式,等等這些來自考研過程的感悟。我把它們記錄在自己的筆記本上,裝在自己的心里。這些東西并不是說一定會給我帶來成就或者財富,而是它們讓我能夠在在這個偌大的世界中走的比原來更好一點。

    帶著這樣的心態,我走到社會中,對堅持有了更深的體會,也更喜歡學習了。如果可以重來一次大學生活,我想我會變得特別優秀,我會更加努力,從那個時候開始就特別努力讀書。但讀書是從來不會晚的,在工作中學習,往往更能學以致用。

    對于一個什么都不懂的剛畢業的人,在北京這樣的偌大的城市是真的不太好走的,體會過無助感,體會過失眠的夜晚,體會過生活的焦慮,體會過找工作的艱辛,看見別人能上班,都會 心生羨慕。

    那個時候多希望生活也能對我溫柔一點。但正是這樣的經歷,讓我明白了只有自己有能力,有足夠的信念,我才能在這個快節奏的社會里走的更加從容。

    很多東西,很多道理,很多理論不是不重要,不是沒有意義而是經歷得不夠多,實踐得不夠多,反思得不夠多,而無法體會道理中的深層含義。能夠抗住多大壓力就能夠體會多深的幸福感,也能駕馭多大的財富。

    一個真正優秀的人,除了有天賦的,都是用淚和汗水換來的。如果自己真心想成為一個優秀的人,那么是必須主動去承擔更大的壓力,去經歷得更多的。

    痛苦后的幸福,前提是要抗住壓力。這樣會收獲很多感悟。

    佛學講的看破名利,涅槃。道家講順其自然,天人合一是很有道理的。這些東西一定要辨證看待,看破名利不是不去努力追求,而是用一種更加從容的方式去追求。順其自然不是不去把控,而是明白無論自己掌握的多么精深,變數永遠存在,讓自己的那顆心和外界的一切事物講和。認識自己,接納自己的缺點,讓自己跟環境融為一體,當有一天真的體會到這些的時候,那一定是痛苦后的體會,那一定是幸福感。這些東西可不是讀讀書寫寫字就能夠明白的,一定是實踐出來的,最后自己感悟到的。

    季老說,何必苦苦去追求涅槃呢,人死后就是涅槃呀。這些高深的學問是需要用一輩子去感悟的。

    這個過程中體會了痛苦,焦慮和無助,抗住了壓力,那一定是可以體會到幸福感的。

    如果沒有達到預期效果,也沒有關系的。就像我沒有考上研究生,但是收獲的卻是對世界的理解。這個理解就是財富,就是幸福感。

    所以我理解的幸福感是這樣的,它一定是自己經歷過很多,流了很多淚,躺過血后的頓悟, 這樣才體會到其中的意味。

    就像《荒島余生》中,故事主人公曾經活在一個分秒都需要把控世界中,在荒島的 5 年,他重新思考了他的人生,他體會到:

    And I know what I have to do now.I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the  sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

    我想他的痛苦經歷給他換來的幸福感是:讓他可以在今后的路可以走的更加從容。

    穿掘著靈魂的深處,使人受了精神底苦刑而得到創傷,又即從這得傷和養傷和愈合中,得到苦的滌除,而上了蘇生的路。——魯迅

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    3 Comments On 我所理解的幸福和痛苦

    1. 書中有大世界

    2. 寫的好!

    3. 若是處在一種分裂感呢。

    發表評論



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