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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    我的真實體驗之變數

    2019-05-05 . 閱讀: 873 views

    /Sanding

    “人生就像一盒巧克力,你永遠不知道下一顆是什么味道。”——《阿甘正傳》

    世界充滿變數。

    當我去做一件簡單也非常有把握的事的時候,執行的過程中總會出現一些意想不到的情況。那種感覺就是無論你準備的多么充分,考慮得多么周到,也無可奈何。經歷多次后,便接受了這個道理。可以考慮周全,但盡可能考慮得有意義。可以分析的很透徹,但是需要接受不確定的情況發生。

    上初中時,追求每次上交的數學作業都是全對。做計算題時,總是小心謹慎,算了一次又一次。因為整個作業本都是優,實在忍受不了有良的情況。所以每次在上交作業后都會有一點兒焦慮,因為想一個錯誤都沒有。這樣的欲望越強烈,私心越重,就越有可能犯錯。做完后就跟同學對答案,如果發現錯誤就修改成正確的。這真的不是一個好習慣。如果接受不了變數和犯錯,那么前進的道路真的不太好走,不是說能力不過關,而是無法越過自己心里的那道坎。是內心接受不了這樣一個一定存在的事實——變數。換句話說就是我自己想不開。這樣的感覺是活著非常累,因為一直處于一種焦慮之中,擔心這擔心那的。

    如果接受不了變數,怎么能一步一步走下去呢。因為一旦出現變數,它對于自己來說是陌生的,內心第一反應是想逃避。其實,這也是每個人都具備的,可控的范圍才會有安全感。如果一直追求這樣的安全感,拼命去追求,則一旦問題出現了,一定是讓自己更加恐懼。一個自己深信不疑的道理,如果做的太過分了,是一定會出現問題的,甚至自己都感覺不到,潛在的意識就控制了自己的行為。追求安全感肯定是對的,因為這樣的焦慮是會讓自己進步的,但是追求過分了,過分到自己無法容忍其中的任何一個變數,那就一定是陷入到了誤區。

    上高中時,追求錯題筆記本上一個錯別字都沒有。在整理錯題時,如果出現一個錯別字就會撕掉整頁,然后又把整頁重新抄寫一次,實在痛苦至極。這里的痛苦并不是動手抄寫而感受到痛苦,而是心里想不開。因為錯題集前半本都沒有錯誤別字,如果中間有了,心里十分難過,根本過不了心里那道坎。更痛苦的是每寫一個字都要擔心不要寫錯了。

    明白了變數是一定存在的,并且內心去接受它,這樣心里會好受一些。其實,這些真的是道理了,每一個人都可以選擇信還是不信,都不太重要,最主要是你內心是怎么想的。吃飯是為了活著,活著就需要開心。只要在沒有損害他人利益的條件下,能夠讓自己開心幸福的道理為什么不去體會呢。只要自己內心接受了很多道理,會發現自己走的更加從容不迫。

    即使畢業后依然保持著在筆記本上寫心得體會。現在更加從容不迫了。在寫的過程中出現了很多錯誤,也無關痛癢,因為內心真的接受了變數,接受無論任何事情都不是完美的。如果要分析透徹準備充分考慮周全,也許花兒都謝了,成長真的是從恐懼中一步一步去體會的,絕不是等自己什么都準備好了,才去做,它一定是在做的過程體會了更多,收獲了一次又一次的經歷,而這些經歷都是財富,把它放在自己的口袋里誰都拿不走。

    記錄的習慣一定是一件正確的事情,但是稍不注意就陷入誤區。會發現細節全是重要的,越記越多,最后體會到的是一種無力感,而且自己都沒有意識到自己已經陷入誤區了。記錄一定是對的,但是要記錄最關鍵的最重要的最有意義的。

    這些是真實體驗。無論對的,錯的都不是絕對的。一定要把握好度。

    我讀到最美的一段話:

    有一天,噢,是夏天,我穿著 5 分庫,在沙灘上散步。很熱。我希望海浪可以浸過我的膝蓋,但是我不希望打濕我褲子。每一次當海浪靠近我時,我憧憬著,也焦慮著。就這樣我整天活在這樣的生活中,在那里希望又焦慮。我感受到無盡的累和痛苦。突然,我想通了,索性躺在了沙灘上,任憑風浪的大與小。

    試圖控制它,希望不要有變數,只會是徒勞的。對這樣的東西欲望越大則一定會讓自己更加擔心這擔心那的,一定會增加自己對陌生事物的恐懼感而不是好奇心和挑戰。

    后來,我讀了《賈題韜講壇經》,才慢慢體會到,原來這一過程是參禪。

    變數。這是一個事實。可以選擇信也可以選擇不信。主要是遵從自己的內心。

    明白了存在這樣的一個道理,并接受了它。會發現走的更加從容不迫。

    不停地實踐和不停地思考。終有一天,會發現,哇,我也可以更加從容地在現實生活中去追求自己想要的一切。

    這就足夠了。

    左岸記:生活中很多事情其實我們都無力左右,我們可以控制的只有面對事情時的態度:積極、消極 ,兩種不同態度所產生的能量也會造成截然不同的結果,接受變數就是以積極的心態去面對,這也意味著我們平時要留有冗余的空間,這樣在不可知的變數到來時有那份自信和從容。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    1 Comments On 我的真實體驗之變數

    1. 人生就像巧克力

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