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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    由趙敏的“偏要勉強”說開去

    2019-05-01 . 閱讀: 1,046 views

    文/落微

    趙敏向范遙道:“苦大師,人家要對我動手,你幫不幫我?”
    范遙眉頭一皺,說道:“郡主,世上不如意事十居八九,既已如此,也是勉強不來了。”
    趙敏道:“我偏要勉強。”
    ——《倚天屠龍記》

    前一陣子,翻拍了第N遍的《倚天屠龍記》開播了,熱搜話題甚囂塵上,尤其熱鬧,勾起了很多人關于此書、此劇的回憶。

    金庸先生的書,看的次數最多的就是這一部了,大概是因為其他的書借出去很少有人歸還,以至于到后來只剩下了幾本。如今再想看看,卻找不到一部完整的了。

    作者曾在后記里面寫,他自己最喜歡的其實是小昭,那個溫柔賢淑的姑娘,而小昭也是四位女子當中,唯一一個愛張無忌愛的毫無保留的。想想,小昭愛上張無忌,大概是在他們倆困于石室之中,小昭把自己的血滴在羊皮紙上,讓無忌練成了乾坤大挪移的時候吧。張無忌,就是她的變數,她來光明頂的目的并不簡單,但是她對張無忌的情,是那么地純粹和深沉,她的愛,并非是“我喜歡你我就一定要擁有你”的愛,反而為了這份愛,犧牲了自己的自由,自此失去了角逐心上人的資格。

    但是作家的無奈,有時候就在于此,寫著寫著,情節就不由自己定了,于是小昭回了明教總部,做了圣女。這份在四女當中最純粹的情,也隨著乖巧小昭而去了。但我相信,在張無忌的心里,必然有著一個屬于小昭的位置的。

    作者作品里的男主角,大部分我都是喜歡的,但是對于張無忌,老實說,挺無感。

    他總有一種唯唯諾諾的心理,始終不明白自己喜歡哪位姑娘,在四位姑娘里徘徊躊躇。最后他明白了,他四個姑娘都想要,他不舍得失去其中任何一位。但是晚了,小昭走了,阿離也走了。不知當這兩位姑娘走的時候,無忌是什么感受。我猜猜,應該是一半惋惜,一半慶幸。惋惜,不用細表。至于慶幸,在四位女子里面做選擇,一直是張無忌的困苦,現在好了,走了兩位,輕松了一半。

    這么一想,無忌還挺渣。

    我自己,是最喜愛阿離的。她不愛那個摔落在草房子里的曾阿牛,因為可憐他,因為他的眼睛像她的無忌哥哥,給了他一塊燒餅,卻又因為他問及臉上的疤,而搶過餅丟掉。那時,她是阿蛛,蜘蛛的蛛。

    她愛誰呢?她愛那個十二歲的,咬過她一口的張無忌。彼時,她是金花婆婆身邊的小魔頭,他是在神醫吳青牛家里治病的小少年。她要帶這個少年走,卻被咬了一口,從此,記掛上了這個倔強的無忌哥哥。

    阿離不愛曾阿牛,也不愛張無忌,她只愛記憶中的那個小少年。

    書的結局,我一直覺得挺無語的。趙敏要張無忌答應的第三件事,就是,為她畫眉。而這時,周芷若出現了:無忌哥哥,你還欠我兩個承諾哦!自此,書就寫完了。

    什么意思?敢情結局的時候,張無忌這廝仍然糾纏于二女之間了嗎……算了算了,反正張無忌從來也沒有純粹的只愛過其中某一個吧。

    算起來,周芷若是最先認識張無忌的。在那個小小的漁船上,那個稚嫩的漁家女,將肉湯拌在飯里,一口一口的喂那位去求醫的小哥哥。造化弄人,她托張三豐的福,入了峨眉派,成了滅絕師太最喜歡的小弟子。直到在光明頂,第二次見面。

    她喜歡無忌,而張無忌最后卻成了明教的教主,她的師父是正派的代表,而張無忌成了魔教的領頭人。正邪不兩立,愛而不能得,而這事也從來不能論先來后到的,于是周芷若瘋魔了,執著了,勉強了。

    其實說到正邪不兩立,最深刻的還是白眉鷹王的女兒殷素素和武當第五個弟子張翠山。四本書,寫他們兩就用了一本多書。只是后面,鐵劃銀勾張翠山在群雄面前自刎,殷素素也在各個“正派”人士的威逼下自殺了,死前對著小無忌說:越是漂亮的姑娘,就越是要提防。嘿嘿,事實就是這樣,趙敏和芷若,哪一個不是沉魚落雁,卻都傷害過他。美人如斯,卻也曾包藏禍心過。

    周芷若勉強了,最后沒有得到她的少年郎。趙敏也勉強了,最后領了情郎歸。我一度很疑惑,同樣是勉強,而張無忌明明也看上去并沒有更喜歡趙敏一些,為什么最后是周芷若敗了。

    原因且略過不談,畢竟情愛一事,可能本就不容用理性去分析的。

    而對趙敏的那一句“我偏要勉強”,我是記到了如今,并為曾經將之奉為圭臬而付出過些微的代價。

    似乎年少時候總是懷著一股子韌勁的,恰似趙敏,凡事偏要勉強,并驕矜的拿出“偏要勉強”的姿態來睥睨四方。說好聽點是少年人的執著與倔強,在一般事物面前總歸不是什么壞事;而說得不好聽點,那種不撞南墻不回頭的勁頭其實還挺蠢的,缺乏了對客觀條件的審慎與對自身條件的公平認知。

    自以為只要勉強了,就什么事情都能夠朝著自己想要的方向走去。

    待到經歷了一些事情之后,在時間的縫隙里不由得輕嘆,到底是無知了。這世上,哪有那么多的盡如人意,哪有那么多的“只要你努力你就能成功”,更多的,卻是遺憾。

    而又有多少人,在一番勉強之后,得到了兩廂情與共、窗前畫峨眉的結局呢,翻來覆去的數,統共不過一對張無忌與趙敏罷了。勉強要結婚的周芷若敗了,勉強要帶走小哥哥的阿離敗了,不勉強要得到心愛之人的小昭也敗了,可見,這事兒其實還挺玄的。

    索性,如阿離一般,只把記憶中的那人來尋,這眼前的,不過是摘不到的花撈不著的月,武功再好,也不是那個小小的、咬了她一口的張無忌。

    左岸記:情愛之事還真的是無法只用理性來思考,但無論是勉強還是成全,是不甘還是放下,都要以“值得”為界限,什么是值得,就是能讓彼此過得更好。

    左岸

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