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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    儀式是生命的標記

    2019-03-23 . 閱讀: 537 views

    文/德叔

    01

    端午快到的時候,我一定能收到張老師送來的香包和粽子。

    香包是那種小小的一元硬幣大小的,是張老師的母親自己縫制的,現在說起來也八十多的老人了。粽子卻是張老師愛人的杰作。

    張老師的愛人是浙江的,每年都會做粽子,箬竹的葉子,包的緊致俏道,香氣四溢,連第一次吃到肉粽,都拜張老師所賜。

    箬竹在北方不常見,于是過去送來粽子時,一定叮囑要把粽葉還了,父母也知道珍貴,會自己收起來,洗干凈送過去。于是,每一年端午臨近,既有渴望又很安心,端午成了那個小院子里,每一年特有的節日,充滿儀式感。

    及至后來,大家遷居四處,端午快到了,依然念想,依然收到粽子和香包。因著父親和我同住,每次張老師都是親自送來,后邊腿腳不方便了,還是女兒女婿開車載著來。

    后邊張老師愛人去世了,我們惋惜的同時,也會覺得從此端午會平淡如常人。但端午來的時候,張老師還是會送粽子來,是女兒開始做同樣的事情。

    現在箬竹的粽葉獲取簡單的多了,已經有幾家不再還葉子給張老師了,倒是父親一直堅持要求我們洗干凈,載著他專程送過去。老哥倆因著粽子會多喝兩場酒,多聊兩回天。

    其實有那么幾年,我覺得其他的粽子會好吃些,覺得張老師的粽子也就是個念想。真到了這幾年,因著年紀、閱歷,兼著有了孩子的緣故。會覺得,張老師的粽子最為可口。

    按著父親的話說,因著張老師的粽子,端午才是端午,接了粽子是個情分,還了粽葉也是情分,沒這個一來一往的儀式,端午和平常的日子沒有區別。

    按著流行的話說,張老師的粽子,讓日子多了些儀式感,然后活得更有趣,也更有存在感。

    02

    “溫飽思淫欲”與“倉稟實而知禮節”,永遠看著對立的可以。

    但聲色犬馬的獲得滿足感,倒是每個人最初的追求。真到了大魚大肉、山珍海味消費的足夠多了,突然發現滿足感沒了,人生的獲得感反而更少了。

    沒有滿足感,沒有獲得感,更別說存在感了。

    人一生磕磕絆絆也好,順風順水也好,看著時間很公平的流逝,但在記憶里留下的卻少的可憐。“人生往返于痛苦和無聊之間”,得不到痛苦,得到了無聊。有錢有閑了,自然恨不得紙醉金迷,永不醒來,真滿足了口腹之欲,次數多了,卻少了最初的快樂。

    不可否認,有了錢、有了閑,我總是希望能多享受點新奇的事物。別人有的我也想有,我有的希望一直有,我有的希望比別人的好。不僅如此,我還希望我有了,讓別人知道我有。

    前些日子,有個問題, “朋友圈是什么?”,一個朋友回答,“我有,我享受,我吃,我喝,我玩,我買,……,我要讓你知道。”競爭是人類的天性,無所謂優劣;攀比是物質擁有的一種表現,是人本能尋找自己社會地位的方法。

    但最終毫無例外的,人們發現,你的存在感和這些關系不大。你感受到幸福,和你比別人強關系不大,你覺得幸福是因為你今天比昨天好,是認為明天會比今天好。因為總有看似和你差不多,但似乎活得比你好的人。

    于是乎,生活給你最大的問題,變成了“如何有存在感的活著”。當我們標記我們的人生,似乎終于找到了終極答案,“儀式感”。

    于是我們更追求儀軌,任何事情任何場合,我們更會過節了,我們更會獎勵自己了,我們更會用事物和影像標記我們的生活了。但等到別人對你的朋友圈都屏蔽了,你才發現,這樣的炫耀比朋友圈的微商更讓人厭煩。

    或許,你終于明白,真正讓你感覺到儀式感的,是那些讓自己的內心富足、幸福、值得銘記的點滴時刻。

    “春天的風是如何吹綠枝丫的,我不知道;

    母親的湯如此美味,又是如何讓我溫暖的,我不知道;

    圣誕的雪蓋住了門前的路,我還是有了圣誕禮物,圣誕老人怎么來的,我也不知道;

    我知道什么呢?……

    我知道,我床頭的花瓶里有花了,院里的花一定開了;

    我知道她愛我,因為她看著我笑,會擁抱我”

    申德的詩《生命的標記》,看到的那一刻,我才明白,所謂的生命、所謂的儀式感,都是這些點滴的、充滿愛的、讓自己溫暖的事情。

    我們就是靠著對這些細微末節的感知,將這些小的幸福當做生命的一個個標記,我們才開始幸福,才可能幸福。

    我們總是那么的平凡,那么的普通,于是注定,我們不會因為不平凡、不普通標記我們的存在,展示我們的生命力。

    我們既可以讓特殊的日子,通過些微的真情注入,變得更加的特殊。也可以讓那些普通的生活細節,加上些不普通的小快樂。或許這樣的人生,才是充滿儀式感的。讓最普普通通的時刻,因為愛、因為關注、因為幸福、因為看見,變得不那么普通。

    晚餐前對著他/她說聲謝謝,臨睡前對著他/她說愛你晚安,從不吝嗇對孩子的擁抱……,這樣的生命才有意義。

    03

    我的父親待我母親很好,一起出門的時候會彼此牽著手,偶爾我母親的鞋帶開了,我父親會蹲下給她系好,我母親也很自然的讓他系。

    我夫人懷孕的時候,彎不了腰,鞋帶開了我也會幫她系,夫人還給我兒子說過這些。

    后邊有一次,兒子和爺爺出門溜達,兒子搭著爺爺的肩,聊的很開心。忽然,兒子讓他爺爺停下,彎腰幫爺爺系松了的鞋帶。

    這或許是屬于人生最好的儀式感。

    左岸記:看德叔的朋友圈,德叔是個懂生活、會生活,對生命是非常認真的,他真的就把一些很平常的事賦予的特別的意義。“繞池閑步看魚游,正值兒童弄釣舟。一種愛魚心各異,我來施食爾垂鉤。”

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

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