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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    三十獨白:反省和理解,就是最好的禮物

    2019-03-08 . 閱讀: 1,292 views

    文/郭敏敏

    過了這一年,就真的三十歲了。假期里經歷了一些復雜的事兒,好像突然就明白了那句話:比起追求快樂,也許我們更應該追求的是平靜。

    這是我想和你說的心里話,真正的平靜會讓我們眼前的路變得不那么難走,讓心底的路回歸細水長流。我必須承認前陣子內心一直是浮躁而焦慮的,總覺得臨近三十歲這條分界線,冥冥之中暗示著一些外在的改變。

    在消化這份焦慮不安的過程中,我逐漸明白,這改變其實應該是自省,真正需要改變的就是自己,所以慢慢的、認真反思著這些年來自己在人和事上的缺陷及問題。老賀常常念叨一句老生常談的話:最大的敵人是自己

    一句話人盡皆知,只是未必有幾人真正會俯下身子去揭開那心魔的本來面目。

    那一刻的反省和理解,是這三十年來收到的最好的生日禮物。

    有一位叫齊美爾的哲學家說:最高境界的處世藝術,是不妥協卻能適應現實;極端不幸的個人素質,是不斷妥協卻不能適應現實。在第一次讀到這句話的時候,我立即分享給了一位讓我很敬佩的朋友。好像我們身邊總有那樣一些人,一生都走不出自己的情緒,任憑情緒從心房到心室百轉千回,卻不知如何克制。

    很多時候人性不能以簡單的對錯來看,它背后的邏輯因果,遠比對錯重要。別把自己架的太高,的確是一種放之四海而皆準的處世智慧。我們運動、讀書、交流、旅行,都是在保持一種精進的狀態,但直到最近才明白這當中其實是分兩方面的:第一,是能力本身不退化,第二,是對自己有清醒的認知,既不高估自己,也不低估他人。

    這些年來有一個我覺得還不錯的習慣,就是學會常常從對方的錯誤中找出自己的責任。這一刻,我在心底對那些曾經被自己的淺薄和無知而傷害過的人,認認真真說一句:對不起。

    除夕那天晚上陪伴果子早早睡下了,當跨年鐘聲敲響的時候,窗外的鞭炮震耳欲聾、此起彼伏。大概是因為受到了驚嚇,一歲半的女兒在我懷里顫抖,我就那樣抱著她,輕輕拍打著她的小手,直到她慢慢睡去。我害怕多年以后會忘了這個片段,所以匆匆記下來——那一刻她和我的守歲,是一種平靜的力量,簡單,又珍貴。

    假期里見到了久違的兒時伙伴,分別多年,心底倒也沒什么差池,依然敢落落大方地說、肆無忌憚地笑。當年交心的老朋友,和如今親密的新伙伴,都是讓我歡喜的可愛的人。在有情趣的時候,和一些有情趣的人在一起,不管是路邊攤還是食堂餐,吃什么都好吃。原來在做菜的作料中,情趣是最好的一種。

    謝謝身邊摯愛的人,在這泥濘中相互接近,釋放溫情,讓我們無力掌控的,可以托付于愛。路雖堅硬,人卻柔軟。

    他們說:把時間當朋友。好吧,親愛的人兒,一點一滴的努力,我和你一起,就從今天開始。

    左岸記:叔本華說:“生命是一團欲望,欲望不滿足便痛苦,滿足便無聊。人生就在痛苦和無聊之間搖擺。”而我們的《大學》中講:“知止而后有定,定而后能靜,靜而后能安,安而后能慮,慮而后能得。”這大概就“不妥協卻能適應現實”的處世境界吧。

    祝廣大婦女“女神節”快樂!

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    2 Comments On 三十獨白:反省和理解,就是最好的禮物

    1. 看完之后我感覺內心平靜了一些,有些時刻感覺時間停止了,似乎感覺不到自己的存在。

    2. 三十歲離我還有半十年,我該如何去學會處事

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