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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    重新找回憂郁的生活方式

    2019-03-06 . 閱讀: 618 views

    文/鄒近夫

    把憂郁畫進天堂之門的德國丟勒,那種深深的寂寞至今都讓人匪夷所思。亞里士多德也曾說過,“真正出類拔萃的人,哲學、詩歌或各門技藝的杰出者,都是憂郁者,其中有些人甚至還受憂郁引起的疾病的折磨。”

    可憂郁不是天生的,盡管許多作品在這種心靈環境下更容易產生,但大都是凄美的、悲傷的故事,而這些悲天憫人的篇章之下,大都藏著一顆希望痛苦被世人理解的心。

    事實上,這些杰出者想象的人物畫面,真正換來的并非世人的理解,而是一種剛好相反的情感,自我安慰,就好像許多人之所以去看悲劇,只是希望從中了解到世上還有比自己更慘的下場。

    但快樂的人從來不指望有人理解他們的快樂,還有那些善良的人也是這樣,他們一開始就生活在綠意盎然的春城,勃勃生機的景象也許不會給他們一種榮枯有數的人生感悟。

    初看起來像環境影響了人們的生活態度,其實這是觀賞角度問題。

    當人生是一幕戲劇,快樂就會使人從中得到希望的體驗,而憂郁便會使人看到希望背后的絕望。現代生活里,稍微帶點兒文學素養的人,極容易養成憂郁的情操,可這種適用在寫作行業的情緒,如果運用到千軍萬馬的職場上就不合適。

    我曾駐足一家上市公司,墻壁上貼滿了誠信正直,艱苦奮斗,積極主動的標簽,以此讓員工自行判別工作上的正面行為和負面行為。公司原本打算營造一種樹立正氣、勤懇務實、主動解決的氣氛,可事實上并不是所有人向此靠攏。愈加繁重的工作任務之下,快樂的人因此看到了曙光,認為這是不可多得的機會,力圖把事情做到最好,并感謝這種指點;而憂郁的我,看到了心力和精力的雙重被剝削,也想到了飛鳥盡,良弓藏的處境。

    憂郁的情緒能讓人看見道貌岸然背后的偽善,美麗背后的狡詐。盡管如此,但人偏偏又是善忘的,哪怕悲劇重演,還是可能在同一個地方跌倒,圣人也是。就像沒有人能在冬天想象得到夏天的炎熱,也從沒有人能在夏天回味出冬的寒冷。不過,憂郁的情緒會讓這種循環往復的生活方式變得不同尋常。

    好像戀愛,我曾在那個青澀懵懂的年齡,遇到心儀的人,憂郁地只會低下頭,如果時光倒流,我還是會那樣。又好像創業,只要有人把一種偶然演說成必然,把那些無關緊要的創業事跡向人兜售,大張旗鼓地充當老好人,替那些成功人士營造全民會成功的氛圍,我便覺得他們像壞人的幫兇。

    假如你也憂郁,那么一定聽過一句話:讓你創業的,可能正在大買設備或典籍。你也一定想到了,那些從商人嘴里說出來的話,而且有關從商的經驗,不能信。成功經驗哪怕有,會分享嗎?何況出自商人之口。

    很多人花時間去研究前人的成功方式,甚至有人大膽地宣稱,不止可以模仿,而且可以直接復制。可是憂郁的我們應當知道,眼下這個各行各業都充分競爭的時代,幾乎沒有可能用仿制就能收獲同樣成功人生案例。

    成年人的世界里,有的人遇到問題,第一時間分析利弊,而憂郁的我,偏愛分析對錯。

    讀大學時曾經營過一個小賣部,那時的合伙人便是舍友。一開始,四人不分彼此,一同去大市場肩挑手提地進貨,一同為各宿舍樓送貨。一段時間過后,我們發現同去同歸,小賣部的收益期出現了空檔,但不知如何正確調整。最后經過討論,進貨和守店以及送貨分開行動,但是誰來執行呢?意見又出現了分歧,因為大都看到了對方的責任而忽視了共同的利益,結果便是一哄而散。

    如果當時聰明些,或者脫口而出那些有關利益的難言之隱,迅速地找準平衡點,以此為突破口把事情圓滿解決,便有了持續經營的可能。但與生活坦誠相待,或許我愿意重新找回憂郁的生活方式,看懂人生這幕充滿了哀愁的戲劇,然后用悲情來掩蓋。

    左岸記:人在出生時,與生俱來就帶有一些性格傾向,我們稱為天生氣質。

    這種天生的性格傾向,并不受遺傳影響。先天氣質分為五種:樂天型、激進型、冷靜型、憂郁型和奉獻型。這五種類型并非獨立存在的,我們常常是這五種氣質類型的混合體,只是某一類型占得比重比較大。

    說憂郁型人是樂天型的冤家是有一定道理的,因為憂郁型人典型特點就是悲觀、被動,完美主義,做事深思熟慮,對人忠誠可靠。憂郁型人可能是天生的孤獨者,他們喜歡安靜也很享受獨處的時光,他們不喜歡主動和人結交。一是因為他們害怕被拒絕,二是他們自己太追求完美,對別人容易要求苛刻,對事敏感。

    對憂郁型人,要給他們自由的空間,在人際上要引導他們降低對自己對他人的期待,接納自己和他人的不完美,要學會情緒管理。那么他們就可以把他的優點發揮到極致,他們的生命就會綻放得特別美麗!

    左岸

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