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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    我的意中人是個蓋世英雄

    2019-02-27 . 閱讀: 952 views

    文/花千樹

    “我的意中人是個蓋世英雄,有一天會穿上金甲圣衣,腳踏七色云彩來娶我”。95年劉鎮偉的《大話西游》上映,情感線的虐心和時空線的玩味,一面忍俊不禁,一面唏噓不已,紫霞仙子的話更是狠狠戳中了淚點。

    從小到大,誰不曾崇拜過英雄,少女時代未曾做過青澀的英雄夢。接觸最早的應該還是《西游記》,那會兒還達不到戶戶有電視,只要一放學哪怕是中午的時間也是三五個一溜煙跑到電視機前開始看動畫片,聽見西游記的片頭曲就覺得五臟六腑都舒服極了,模仿孫猴子說話,滿心歡喜的希望有一天也能手提金箍棒,斬妖除魔無所不能;之后便是小李飛刀李尋歡,大概劇情已然忘得差不多了,腦海里卻依然回響著那句“無情刀永不知錯沒緣分只嘆奈何”和那個多情劍客的模糊形象;再之后便是蘇有朋版的《倚天屠龍記》,最喜歡的無外乎以一擋百,最后依然能安然無恙的情節。后來便斷斷續續把金庸古龍的書全看了一遍,大概對于英雄的印象便來自于這些零零散散的電視劇和書吧。

    我想每個人的世界里,大概都有這樣一位英雄吧,他武功造詣很高,卻有很多的無奈,他總在關鍵的時候能力挽狂瀾,卻也有無法言說的痛楚感傷。那時候幻想著能成為,幻想著能遇見,那時候的未來是色彩繽紛,是波瀾壯闊,有詩和遠方,有風輕云淡。

     二

    白天輾轉在蕭瑟的北京街頭,晚上盯著電腦成批的投簡歷。這是來北京的第一年,幾天的生活便教會了你生存和詩情畫意哪個更重要,海投完簡歷便是異常關注手機,唯恐接不到面試電話,偶爾一個便是興沖沖的出去。除了一點點消耗的熱情根本身無長物,唯一的念頭便是找到工作,拿到工資,然后就有錢交房租。困難時期簡單粗暴的想法確是最實用的,諸如甄嬛傳里甄嬛施計復寵后和槿汐圍在火爐旁烤手,倆人聊著天,說自己曾經那樣期盼得到皇上的心,現在想來也不過是一番癡心而已,感慨皇上的寵愛還沒有這一盆炭火來得實在。

    上班,拿著微薄的薪水,有空隙便跟同事學習,翼翼小心的為人處事,下班便買菜做飯,在長春橋上看不斷的流水和穿梭的車流。匆忙的人世,卻不知自己未來何方,自己的生活會怎樣。那些日子,沒有所謂的英雄來解決所有的茫然無措,只有希望和絕望交織的光陰,和蝸居的十平的小屋。

     三

    后來和大多數人一樣,工作,結婚,生娃,養娃。

    或許這就是生活原本的樣子,煙火人間別樣溫情。以前覺得未來是江南水鄉,是大漠孤煙,是水光瀲滟,而今卻明白所需要的不過是有一處溫暖的住所,有一個可以擁抱的懷抱,有一個自己可以不帶腦子就隨時隨地可以叨叨的人。

    生活的最佳狀態是冷冷清清的風風火火,第一次看到木心的這句話便一下子覺得戳中了自己的心,這個世界從來沒有那樣的英雄,也沒有那樣的熱鬧,我們卻可以選擇在一次次的自我救贖中去強大自己,努力學習技能,開始磨平自己,開始體諒,開始理解,開始明白人世間的不易并學會珍惜和承擔,在日復一日的光陰里熱氣騰騰的活著。

    我們還有所期望并為之努力的遠方,只不過變成了一個個踏踏實實的目標;我們還有所喜歡的英雄,只不過更學會了看背后是怎樣的艱辛;我們還有心向往之的江湖,只不過更理解了我們所向往的是那一種情懷。所有的藝術都源于現實,所有的藝術都可以在現實中找到影子,還原成原本生活的樣子;所有的情結大抵是心底的企盼,沒有了所謂的英雄和江湖,但并不影響我們富有情懷的生活啊。

    英雄永遠留在屏幕上,住進了那段記憶里,和青蔥歲月相稱,和那時的壯志雄心相搭。而自己卻慢慢明白,所謂的英雄永遠不會遇見,我們也永不可能白衣仗劍走江湖。我們只是在平凡的光陰里,慢慢熬著,日漸修煉成了自己的英雄。

    左岸記:每個人都可以是自己的英雄,原來我們希望一生里可以找到依靠的人,那人足夠的強大,可以為我們擋風遮雨,可以幫我們實現想要的一切,結果本沒有,生活的一切還是得自己去面對,問題要自己去解決,最終你自己活成了一支隊伍,回首自己走過的路,真的要好好感謝自己的勇氣和努力。

    作者:花千樹,一邊在世界里流浪,一邊在深夜里獨寫悲喜。愛繁花也愛星辰,孤獨與愛同在,悲涼與溫情并生。微信公眾號:孤獨與愛同在。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    2 Comments On 我的意中人是個蓋世英雄

    1. 謝謝分享 ,會一直關注博主的,內容很贊,要多多學習啊

    2. 向著未來,昂首闊步

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