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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    愿你不做常亮的那盞燈

    2019-01-09 . 閱讀: 1,328 views

    文/一小點

    劉墉先生說過一句話:“一盞一直亮著的燈,你不會去注意,但是如果它一亮一滅,你就會注意到。”我對這句話的愛屬于一見鐘情型,僅寥寥幾筆,卻用最平鋪直敘的語言把人與人之間的微妙關系表述的如此通透。

    1.

    近網上特流行一個詞叫“跪舔”,有人抨擊說現在的社會怎么了,把真愛叫的這么難聽,也有人回擊道你的真愛只是你一廂情愿并非兩情相悅,在對方表示一再拒絕的情況下你仍無下限的秀你所謂的“真愛”,這不叫真愛叫“性騷擾”,這樣的言辭確屬過激,可細想貌似又話糙理不糙。

    每個人都有追求愛的權利,這無可厚非,可當你要為你的那份“真愛”拋棄自己的喜好、朋友圈、工作,要把現在的生活來個徹底的顛覆,并在你還不知道結果與否的情況下,捧著自己的一顆赤誠之心來到自己心愛的人面前,你覺得他要還是不要?

    他不喜歡你的話你把自己的世界給他也白搭,如果幸運的是他也恰巧喜歡你,可他還是不要,因為他不敢要,他知道你所有瘋狂行徑都是為了他,他怕自己負了你,每個人都是想給自己留有退路的,他不是不想負責,只是他怕以后的路稍有不慎就會被愧疚感包圍,任何人都不想小心翼翼的生活,這樣太累了。

    2.

    從母體分離出的那一刻開始,每個人就是一個獨立的個體,你就是屬于自己的,你的快樂痛苦以及更多情緒只能分享不能被承擔。我們在之后的成長中會逐步建立更加復雜和龐大的關系網,開始有了五味雜陳的情緒,開始有了欲望。

    聰明的人會隱藏自己的情緒,克制自己的欲望,但是他仍舊堅守自己的底線。愚笨的人會將所有的情緒都恨不得加粗加大寫在自己的臉上,為了自己的欲望用盡一切手段獲取。

    我們喜歡前者唾棄后者,可我們經常走著走著就變成了后者,世事難料這四個字是又俗又真,你根本不知道下一刻會發生什么,認識什么人,是驚是喜你都得好生接著,這應該就是命數吧。

    我不是迷信,說給別人的同時也是說給自己,不要為任何人放棄自己現有的美好。你對他的好他當然感受得到,他會喜歡你是因為你是你。你喜歡畫畫看書,你有自己的小圈子,有一個可以讓自己經濟獨立的工作,他應該喜歡的是這個你,而不是那個為了他把自己之前的生活都拋棄的你。

    倘若他不喜歡你,那么你也千萬不要糾纏或者想方設法變成他喜歡的樣子,迷失自我的感覺會讓人喪失對生活的信念。你好好生活從來都不是為了一個誰,從來不是。

    可如果一個人的出現能讓你變得更好更強大則另當別論了,這樣的人無論以后陪我們走過一段或一生,我們都要心存感激,因為我那么多的好是因為你存在或存在過我的生命中。

    3.

    小時候,我們可以花很長時間看螞蟻上樹,等石頭開花,因為我們對這件事從未有過什么刻意的期待,即使沒有結果也并不影響我們回家大口吃飯,沾著枕頭就睡。

    長大了我們一心只想著做那盞最明亮耀眼的燈,期待成為最受矚目的那一個,期待自己的光和熱可以將欲望變現,哪怕電壓和燈泡瓦數不般配也不在乎,最后只落得個灰飛煙滅。

    其實我們應該允許自己有熄滅的時刻,只有這樣才能讓自己亮得更長久,所有的光和熱都能散發的恰到好處,我們也會因此變得熠熠生輝,更加閃耀。

    左岸記:一個人在愛里能這么想這樣去做,那幸福的概率就高很多。你所追求的是兩情相悅,那么就不會經歷一廂情愿;你想要的是一個更美好的自己,就不會做出屈辱自己的事來;你向往平等尊重的愛情,那么你就會努力地讓自己能和所愛的人相匹配。你本來就很好,在一起只是為了更幸福更快樂。所有,如果愛得痛苦,就叫不值得。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    4 Comments On 愿你不做常亮的那盞燈

    1. 愛,有時候又是寫不出的。

      • @柳貳 不要抽象,具體一些,這樣愛才清清楚楚。

    2. 寫的真好,我們終其一身都在尋找那個可以靈魂相伴的人

    3. 很多時候我們都忙于解釋此人此情是不是愛,又或于測量其程度,其實我更喜歡用這句話“道生一,一生二,二生三,三生萬物”來解釋,我想這“一”應該就是愛,我們身在其中才會有所行動,是愛解釋了我們。

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