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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    很努力的你過得可還好?

    2019-01-04 . 閱讀: 1,134 views

    文/德魯伊

    “你真的很努力……”,這成了你年底聽到最沮喪的話,最狠的批評?

    你的基本狀態是:面對機遇你充滿鈍感和時間差,面對坎坷你是毫無還手之力,面對糟糕形勢你第一個被斃掉,面對市場賽跑你篤定被別人套圈……

    你會承認你自己不努力?吃奶的勁都用完了,吃屎的決心和行動都落實了,但你就是活得不好。

    朋友圈的人們,我們總是看著別人活得很輕松,很成功,似乎毫不費力且云淡風輕。于是,我們很糾結自己的人生到底是怎么了?

    朋友圈也在進化,除了微商和雞湯外,生活似乎都不錯。我們總以為朋友圈沒有用戶偏好設置,這樣我們能了解這個世界到底是什么樣子的。但不幸的是,朋友圈的生活總是打擊我們,別人為什么總是活得那么美好。

    你突然有了被遺棄的感覺,按理說滿朋友圈的正能量是好事啊,負能量多害人呀。天天多點正能量,不是美好生活指日可待么?但你就是感覺不爽,甚至陰暗到別人出了點狀況,發了朋友圈,要么你惡作劇的點贊,要么心內暗爽,卻假惺惺的給點安慰的評論。

    你是既“作”且“賤”,總發負能量的朋友圈你屏蔽了,自己發朋友圈都斟字酌句、美顏易容,硬撐著展示美好生活,然后暗地里哭天抹淚,焦慮異常。信息讓你焦慮,信息讓你抑郁,信息讓你厭倦現在的你,你卻依舊給外界傳遞虛假的你很好的信息。每個人都把自己覺得好的一面展現出來,哪怕是有欺騙性質的,然后卻在與別人的比較里陷入焦慮和充滿挫敗感?

    你真的很努力,但是過去的你,你感到很失敗。


    這一段時間,兩個小事蠻有感觸。一是據丁丁講,他們的同學已經開始保溫杯泡枸杞,00后養生?養生從娃娃抓起?再就是,大學同學們一窩蜂的跑馬拉松,包括大學時代覺得身體素質一般的主兒,難道差不多的人都可以跑馬拉松?

    據說90后開始擔憂頭發,照著這個節奏,其實00后養生也是天經地義。那天開玩笑說,現在的中學生,拼的真不是學習,拼的是身體。但照著我們同學們的例子,過去也作踐身體,練起馬拉松也還是杠杠的,身體貌似也不錯。

    自己的身體自己做主的時代已經過去了,拼得了顏值、拼得了腦袋、拼得了身體素質才行,要不身體只會折騰自己。依著這個路數,身體還是自己的前提是,足夠健康和保持素質。

    據說,情緒可以影響身體,過敏、胃病、顫抖、眩暈、偏頭痛、背痛什么的都是常事。情緒什么時候、什么狀態能影響身體,如何影響的,這個貌似沒什么定論。但聽起來很可怕,生活里很常見。

    過去講身體是自己的,所以黑著頭的練它,太祖對身體那是當工具的。現如今,你要活著還需要把身體祖宗般的供著。你到底是被身體左右還是你左右著身體呢?

    身體如老夫子說,“近之則不遜,遠之則怨。”,這樣想想才是正道。太當回事或太不當回事的,確實“很難養”。你踮著腳能做的事情,身體也鍛煉了,你也突破了;當著貴婦寵物般的伺候著,小姐身子丫鬟命,多半也會毀了你。

    中國人是講“天人合一”的,你閉塞和外界的熔融,會生病。但你追求了和外界的互通互聯,你卻病了,難道是這個世界也“病”了?


    2018,說自己活的好的人不多,問誰都是“活下去”才是主題。臨了歲末,反正都還活著,都沒死。然后問問,沒死都很慶幸。

    “離職死”的恐慌在蔓延,干的憋屈,離職恐懼。“老子不干了”心底默念一千遍,說出嘴的卻是,“好好好,您說的對,我馬上去做”,然后屁顛屁顛的開始假裝忙碌,再然后拖延癥如約而至,渾渾噩噩。

    娛樂都少了呢。據說,打死線下娛樂只用一招,刷手機。據說,連生育這個問題,出生率少也和刷手機有關。是網絡太美好,還是網絡太虛幻?反正大腦是控制不住的,你也會想,大腦都控制不住,我干嘛要控制?

    過去講,嘴上說不身體很誠實,現在是自己說不,大腦很誠實。你這個“我”,真是個loser。“死也不”和“真香”的事兒,時刻伴隨著你,幽靈似的。

    前幾天一個朋友說,一想到要出差老開心了,工作使她快樂。我說,你和工作有奸情。哈哈之余,我想過去總形容自己的工作和事業是夫妻、孩子、情人,看樣子現在都不好使了,需要有“奸情”才行。

    還有個朋友說,現在前路霧霾,只剩活下去這個唯一的目標。我說,難道任何時候不都是“活下去”么?他說,活下去和好好活不同。我說,這或許正是你過去的問題吧。他說,過去的回不來,往前看,這命我認了。我打岔,我給你推薦的營銷管理你讀了嗎?正常終止交流。


    春生夏長秋收冬藏,真到盤點“藏”,發現壓根什么也沒有留下、兩手空空,甚至還虧了壓箱底的東西。錢沒賺到,身體還垮了,身體垮了,還一點成長沒有。你是真的真的很努力的證明,你真的很失敗。

    對信息的態度,對身體的態度,對現在的態度,這該是你2018的總結,對2019的態度吧。

    左岸記:我們總是需要一個儀式或者給自己設置一個點,讓過去的成為過去,然后向著更美好的未來去努力。這個點可以是過去的止損,也可以是未來的基石,但能不能變得更好,只是希望是不可能的,你總得做點和原來不一樣。朋友圈讓人焦慮,可以少看,然后去多看書;身體不好,那就不要熬夜,盡量地讓作息規律起來,多鍛煉身體;工作遇到瓶頸,就多學習,讓自己成為不可或缺的人……生活從來就不是無解,凡我趕不上的,我就做好做準備,到未來等它。

    另:再次推薦德魯伊的新書《孤獨是好的》,讓這本書陪你一起成長。購買點這個鏈接:http://product.dangdang.com/25576719.html

    德魯伊Druid

    德魯伊,70后。理工科碩士,喜歡寫作,職業經理人。 人入中年,攜妻帶子,止思踐行,與世界融洽、與自己坦然,充滿快樂生活的勇氣。 “質樸、靈動、喜悅、淡和”是為人生準則,“于人有用,于己有趣”是為人生標準。 文風以毀雞湯、靜心冥想、兒童教育、心理應用等見長。 著有: 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得 2》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《沒走過的是路,走過的才是人生》(心智成熟心理學作品,作家出版社出版), 《在疲憊的世間任性的活》(散文雜文集,文匯出版社)

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