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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    不去“復讀”別人的人生,不去過“二手生活”

    2018-12-07 . 閱讀: 1,331 views

    文/德魯伊

    我一直覺得真實的生活比文學作品有趣,也靈異的多。為此,我編不出故事。我經常去搜集別人的故事,于是我看到太多的有趣和不同。

    但這個世界自從被網絡接管,與網絡世界的博弈從來沒有消停過,看現在的戰況,人類似乎必輸無疑。

    當你焦慮一些想法的時候,按照老人的說法,就是事情已經很嚴重了。比如前些日子提到的“復讀機人生”、“二手生活”。

    我們自小被教育,我們是獨一無二的,雖然太陽底下沒有新鮮事,但不妨礙我們覺得只要我們努力,我們一定有一個與眾不同的人生。但可悲的是,網絡世界告訴你,你想的說的、你想干的、你想經歷的……,貌似都已存在;你想過的生活或是現在正在過的生活,其實別人早已經明明白白的在活著。

    這個有點像唐詩宋詞,古文觀止。反正之前有些年,我一看到唐詩宋詞就犯怵,老是感覺前人把東西都寫完了。雖然不是旅途就是思鄉,不是懷才不遇就是心懷天下,但架不住人家就是精辟就是經典,搞得自己寫什么都覺得前人把好句子、好意境用完了。

    這是一個尷尬的事情,復讀機可是我們中國人自己的發明,雖然網絡世界利用算法,很陰險的只給我們在意的信息。在我自己都不了解自己的情況下,大數據都告訴你是什么樣的loser。這么失敗的人生,到底怎么辦?

    獨立意志是個哲學命題,但我們能確認的倒是,除了我們的經歷之外,現時刻的信息真的在潛移默化的影響著、左右著我們。說起人生的成長,無非是:從環境和經歷里汲取營養,也盡可能的摒棄外部對自己的拘囿束縛。真照著這法子活,多多少少還是你自己應該的模樣。

    人往簡單里說,無非是個尋找存在感和歸屬感的事兒。在有歸屬感的地方有存在感,那是一種成功;在有存在感的地方還有歸屬感,那是幸福。但最怕的是你拼命在有歸屬感的地方找存在感,那是一種作;或者,在沒存在感的地方找歸屬感,那是徹底的loser

    其實想想,你之所以成為“復讀機”,無非是找了個歸屬感;你真的擔心自己總是過的“二手人生”,說白了,是沒有存在感了。

    不想成為“復讀機”?不想過“二手人生”?

    其實不做“復讀機”簡單些。知道這個網絡現在用的是“用戶偏好”算法,推送的都是大數據的結果,雖然甚至比你還了解你自己。但只要你對任何信息,學會“無動于衷三秒鐘大法”,讓大腦真的參與一下思考和再加工,多多少少還是能保證一些獨立思維的。

    最怕的是自己成為自己的“復讀機”,你一輩子指著一個笑話活,那真就活成了一個笑話。一件有趣的事情,你隨時警覺是否在一個人面前說到第二遍了。如果不是,恭喜你,你在不停的進步和攫取這個世界上有趣的事情。否則,多半你活的單調而重復,你是“復讀機”你怨誰呢?

    孤獨的人,自然是有存在感的,但畏懼孤獨,多半就寂寞起來了。慰藉寂寞就要歸屬感,先界定一下,以為自己是什么類型的。所以巴巴的去把自己的角色人設搞定,搞定了人設自然就需要角色、造型、劇情等等,自然而然有前人的影子。你寂寞的那一刻開始,你拒絕孤獨的那一刻開始,你的“二手人生”大幕已經徐徐拉開。

    不想過“二手人生”?先別追求歸屬感,歸屬感是一個結果,因為你獨立存在又與世界友好互聯,你自然被認同,自然有了歸屬感。否則,你要么變成你不希望的樣子,要么就是畫虎類犬,總是擰巴著自己不是自己,自己也沒學成別人。

    孤獨是好的?

    好不好先不論,你都不知道你是什么樣的,找什么歸屬感和存在感?人家是一堆辣雞,你是一只鹽水鴨,你的歸屬感假的不得了。你的存在感是有了,只是因為你是鴨子人家是雞,雞同鴨講的存在感,又是另類的“巨作”。

    我們畏懼的是需要我們戰勝的,我們焦慮的是需要我們正面的。究著這個理由,我們先有趣起來,有用起來,孤獨起來吧。

    Ps: To see the world in a grain of sand,

    And heaven in a wild flower,

    Hold infinity in the parm of your hand,

    And eternity in an hour。-- William Blake

    一沙一世界,

    一花一菩提;

    把無窮無盡握于手掌,

    永恒寧非是剎那時光。

    左岸記:夜晚寂靜,菜園里卻很熱鬧。洋蔥、蘿卜和番茄不相信世界上有南瓜這種東西,它們以為那只是空想。南瓜默默不說話,它只是繼續成長。

    德魯伊的新書《孤獨是好的》正式上新了,這是他的第五本書,這是一本不可錯過的和你心靈對話的書。這本書這兩天有活動,你可以以最優惠的價格買到這本書,心動就行動吧,點這個鏈接:http://product.dangdang.com/25576719.html

    德魯伊Druid

    德魯伊,70后。理工科碩士,喜歡寫作,職業經理人。 人入中年,攜妻帶子,止思踐行,與世界融洽、與自己坦然,充滿快樂生活的勇氣。 “質樸、靈動、喜悅、淡和”是為人生準則,“于人有用,于己有趣”是為人生標準。 文風以毀雞湯、靜心冥想、兒童教育、心理應用等見長。 著有: 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得 2》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《沒走過的是路,走過的才是人生》(心智成熟心理學作品,作家出版社出版), 《在疲憊的世間任性的活》(散文雜文集,文匯出版社)

    2 Comments On 不去“復讀”別人的人生,不去過“二手生活”

    1. 讀這篇文章有些吃力,文中的一些用詞不容易理解,內容也寫的很虛。比如文中多次使用了歸屬感和存在感,讀起來很抽象,讀完了也沒啥印象。

    2. 每個人都是不同的自我

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