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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    原諒寂寞犯的錯,享受孤獨的感覺

    2018-11-10 . 閱讀: 1,090 views

    文/德魯伊

    李宗盛說“時間偷光了他的選擇”,然后“越過了山丘,依然無人等候”,喋喋不休,卻讓想聽的人聽不到,于是硬生生變成了一首歌。

    ***

    前些日子,群里說得上的大神,一股腦的對外聲稱不是“95后”就是“00后”,搞得我差點以為進錯了群。為了環境和諧,情境平衡,我只好一再聲稱自己年近八旬,我在群里發神經就是“聊發少年狂”。

    年輕時矯情,說了很多自以為得意,其實不明就里的話。但有句話到今天依舊有用:人生不是犯錯就是錯過。

    犯錯了想彌補,錯過了想挽回,怎么看都是和自己的過去過不去。犯錯了孤立無援,錯過了寂寞難耐,于是繼續走著寂寞、犯錯、寂寞、錯過。

    私下問這些“扮嫩”的主兒,原來70后想成90后,80后想成00后,甚而有些人恨不得回到牙牙學語,黑吃、黑喝、黑睡,盡情揮灑情緒,瞬間忘記過去。

    沒有事情想不通,只要你愿意想。想來,曾經的犯錯,曾經的錯過,堆積起來的寂寞,堆積起來的懊悔,讓你可以原諒這個世界,都原諒不了自己。

    誰都明白,人生就是個“錨定”、“目標”、“定位”、“路徑”的事兒,但青春的年代,除了胡亂著走、漫無目的的奔、跟周遭瞎比較,也還真和這幾個詞無關。

    或許你錯了,才知道自己的定位是什么;錯了,才明白目標是否可能;錯了,才明白錨定的重要;錯了,才知道路徑的選擇。

    然后,錯過了,才知道,如何去珍惜事物、感知周遭。

    然后的然后,原諒寂寞犯的錯……

    ***

    HR有個俗話:招聘條件越苛刻的崗位,這個工作越是誰都能干。

    推而廣之, “過好人生”這事,誰都能干,但條件卻最苛刻。

    你原諒了寂寞犯的錯,孤獨卻平靜的站到你的面前。

    于是你突然明白,人生真難過:你跟過去過不去,你和現在沒法和解,你與未來毫不相干。

    “大夢誰先覺,平生我自知”的先賢們,到了今天多是“窮極一生,做不完一場夢,大夢初醒荒唐了這一生”的吟唱。

    沒有了“前不見古人,后不見來者。”的孤寂,少了“閣中帝子今何在?檻外長江空自流。”的喟嘆,如今的人更孤獨,卻是“你在南方的艷陽里,大雪紛飛;我在北方的寒夜里,四季如春。”的無法交流和注解。

    你一點都不寂寞了,孤獨成了美好的選擇。孤獨是在對的地方、對的時間、對的情境,對的通感,不是誰尋找到誰,而是就在那里,就在此刻。

    你開始獨自享受自己,享受時光,時間不那么急了,自己走的不緊不慢。

    你所有的“錨定”、“定位”都屬于自己了,忘了比較周遭或不屑于比較周遭;你的“目標”、“路徑”,不再是依葫蘆畫瓢、亦步亦趨,所有看似相似的人生其實都是獨一無二。這是你選擇與孤獨遇見,最大的收獲。

    你終于開始享受孤獨……

    ***

    一個朋友,在我的生活里出出進進,隨意的很。

    總是一段時間不聯系,聯系的時候,偶爾帶瓶酒、品品茶,或是分享一些不知道什么地方搜集到的新奇玩意兒。

    我找他的時候他都在,都能幫著我解決不少事情;他找我的時候,也理所應當。

    我們都在變化,變老或心態更年輕,從世故變得重新純真。他從不油膩,我偶爾俗氣。

    他從來不談論孤獨這詞兒,不像我靠著描述孤獨碼字。

    他對年輕人態度是極好的,他說青春是最值得敬畏的,因為有選擇的權利和犯錯的機會;

    他對曾經的錯過是心存感激的,他說一切的錯過,都讓他學會珍惜當下,珍惜每一次的選擇;

    他對寂寞的態度就像是面對初戀,他告訴我,初戀是不能忘記的,但一定是可以原諒的,這也是寂寞的意義。

    他說,信任人生信任自己,這才是生活的關鍵,信任一定會成為別人的理由,但信任不能成為自己的枷鎖。

    他會彈吉他和做曲,他曾經把我的一首小詩譜了曲子,偶爾一起喝了酒,他會彈唱,那一刻,時間是停止的,已經是大叔的我們,忘了年紀……

    ***

    《原諒寂寞犯的錯,享受孤獨的感覺》

    我有一張車票

    拿我青春換的,可以送我去遠方

    我有一只歌謠

    憑我記憶寫的,可以伴我到天亮

    ?

    寂寞的青春已經過去了啊

    我傷痕累累,裝作堅強如鋼

    寂寞的錯誤只好那樣了啊

    我快快樂樂,已經不再憂傷

    ?

    我有一雙翅膀

    憑我純真做的,讓我可以飛翔

    我有一雙眼睛

    因我經歷黑暗,可以熠熠閃光

    ?

    孤獨的年紀已經來了啊

    我安安靜靜,渡過屬于我的時光

    孤獨的選擇已經來了啊

    我忘了過去,等待下一個晴朗……

    左岸記:這篇文章摘自德叔(德魯伊)的新書《孤獨是好的》,這是他出的第五本書了,恭喜德叔,相信喜歡德叔的人不會錯過這本描寫你心靈心聲的書。人生就是百年孤獨,你是自己最好的解藥,而德叔也許真的能幫你找到你自己。

    點這個鏈接定購吧:http://product.dangdang.com/25576719.html

    德魯伊Druid

    德魯伊,70后。理工科碩士,喜歡寫作,職業經理人。 人入中年,攜妻帶子,止思踐行,與世界融洽、與自己坦然,充滿快樂生活的勇氣。 “質樸、靈動、喜悅、淡和”是為人生準則,“于人有用,于己有趣”是為人生標準。 文風以毀雞湯、靜心冥想、兒童教育、心理應用等見長。 著有: 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得 2》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《沒走過的是路,走過的才是人生》(心智成熟心理學作品,作家出版社出版), 《在疲憊的世間任性的活》(散文雜文集,文匯出版社)

    1 Comments On 原諒寂寞犯的錯,享受孤獨的感覺

    1. 愛過你的那才叫初戀,一廂情愿往往會事與愿違,用力過猛,都是孤獨犯的錯

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