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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    你就活該崩潰么?

    2018-06-14 . 閱讀: 1,342 views

    /德魯伊

    中年已經不危機了,主要是這詞兒落伍了;中年已經油膩過了,認同了油膩的現實,只想著法兒油膩的時候怎么能高點逼格。

    但悄無聲息的,中年開始“無聲的崩潰”了。

    前幾日,一個朋友例行去蘇州進貨,突然發信息我,“我可能喝多了”,我沒理他,后邊又發了一條消息,“要吐的節奏……”,我拿起手機想勸一下,突然覺得多余。

    第二天早上,我發信息他,“在外照顧好自己”,他回了個“謝謝”,然后就聊了些工作上的事情。

    其實我知道,昨夜的他一定崩潰了,無聲的好無預兆的,不知道是哭、是喊、是砸了東西、還是別的什么,我之所以沒有再回復他或是安慰他,其實中年人的這一刻,沒有任何的熟悉的人,在陌生的環境里,干嘛不呢?

    其實生活還好,歲月溫柔,世界的殘酷里,已經打拼出一點點成功。我喜歡一個朋友的話,一個中年人,想要崩潰發泄,前提也是你略略的成功,否則你只有麻木的權利。話很殘酷,卻讓你無力反駁。

    不想活,卻不能死,這話有點絕望。很想活,卻不快樂;很想活自己,卻硬扛著許多責任,這倒是沒什么可懷疑的現實。

    每個人都享受著焦慮,從恐懼焦慮到享受焦慮,受虐般的,任何的平靜和無所事事都讓你心存疑慮。于是,你云淡風輕的微笑,輕描淡寫的度日,沒有什么你想不到,任何的結果就算出人意料,你也瞬間想得通透、透徹。

    沒有誰能擊倒你,除了你自己;沒有誰能打敗你,除了你放棄;沒有誰能了解你,你壓根也沒打算讓人了解;沒有誰能擁有你,因為你都忘記自己……

    那好,你干嘛還要崩潰,在你不熟悉的地方,不熟悉的人面前,沒準備的場合你就崩潰了?

    你那么久的平靜如水,那么強的堅持努力,混亂不堪的情商,為什么這么脆弱,一瞬間塌縮?

    崩潰的你不是原形畢露,崩潰的你不是失去希望,就是想那么一次,偶爾的一次,放縱自己,因為你知道崩潰后依然正常,該是什么樣子還會是什么樣子。

    情緒不是用來控制的,是用來疏導的。“一個成熟的人,一個情商高的人,是絕對不會控制不住情緒的。”這雞湯毒的可以殺死你的快樂。沒誰沒有情緒,情緒來了,控制了調整了,積久成疾,與其在莫名其妙的時刻爆發,不如尋找合適的機會發泄。會生氣的叫人,不會生氣的是蠟像。以情緒的發泄代替中年的絕望。

    崩潰是個詞兒,不是個丟人的事兒。當你崩潰的時候,不要影響到別人,影響到環境。沒誰說你沒權利崩潰,就像你既然有責任,那就有權利。只是崩潰了,別傷到花花草草,那是極不好的。傷到了,記得道歉,記得說“對不起”。丟過人了,你還在,還能撿回來,那就沒什么問題。

    用冥想代替信仰。我們為了說服自己,讓自己還能堅持。會把很多東西當做信仰,“家庭的幸福”、“人生的成功”、“與人的相處原則”……但不曾想,任何的一次崩潰都和信仰的坍塌有關。不如把冥想和“正念”代替信仰,尋找到平靜喜悅的自己。

    既然堅持,不要放棄。對未來的恐懼,對現實的焦慮,對曾經的似是而非。說來崩潰無非如此,你能堅持是你有原則、擁有“過去”,沒有誰因為未來的渴望就能一直堅持,而對自己原則的堅持,對自己過去的負責,才是讓你真正存在的原因。因為“原則”、“過去”,你才擁有了現在的自己。

    讓有聲的崩潰替代默默的流淚。你越沉默的崩潰,越會陷入負面情緒的泥沼。真正面對崩潰的人,會找合適的情境,讓自己的崩潰有聲有色、花樣百出。真正能變換花樣的崩潰,這樣的人情商高到足可以控制自己的情緒。讓崩潰也多點色彩,直面崩潰的同時,你也就失去了崩潰。

    據說,莫名崩潰的人都已經到了中年,和年紀無關,和心的老舊有染。

    據說,年輕人從開始硬扛這個世界,就和崩潰這個傻玩意兒歃血為盟、稱兄道弟,然后在最不經意的時刻,背后被捅刀。

    據說,這個世界最缺乏的是信任,你每一次的崩潰,多少和信任這個詞有關,不被信任或是忽然不值得信任。

    據說,崩潰和無法言語有關,越不能說的,越讓你崩潰,特別是你可以一整天不說一句話的時候,你就走到了崩潰的邊緣……

    好了,好了,總之,崩潰也沒什么了不起的,對吧?

    左岸記:男人哭吧哭吧不是罪!

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

    2 Comments On 你就活該崩潰么?

    1. 對生活永遠充滿好奇心

    2. 沒有人想崩潰,越有責任感的人越容易崩潰,不要總是說崩潰的人不好,他們只是被各方的責任和自己的無力壓的喘不過氣罷了,他們其實可以沒心沒肺,只是太重情

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