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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    有些事我不說,不代表我不痛

    2018-03-18 . 閱讀: 1,753 views

    作者:勞拉?利皮斯基

    你有沒有隱藏在心底的創傷,久久不能治愈?

    王小波說:人一切的痛苦,本質上都是對自己無能的憤怒。

    我想大多數人心里是認同的,如果承認痛苦,那就等同于打開一扇門卻不知道如何再關上。

    1.

    衛生學院的在讀博士生安娜和我講了這樣一件事。

    十幾歲那年,安娜的鄰居希希在小區里發生了意外,不幸地離開了大家,大家都為這個花季少女惋惜。為了安撫希希瀕臨失控的父母,整個小區都在為希希的事情忙前忙后。

    沒有誰去事先安排,大家就是自覺地想為這個遭遇不幸的家庭做點什么。等一切結束后,大家聚在一起,聊聊她,吃吃飯,事情就這樣過去了。

    后來,希希的父母搬家了。大家也沒再提起這個事,或者說所有人有意識地將那段經歷藏起來,不再和他人分享。

    事情過去15年了,希希的妹妹卻突然聯系了安娜。

    她說:她花了很長時間,在全國各地尋找當時小區里的人,她的父母想再和大家見一面。

    當天,她邀請了幾乎當時所有在事故現場的人。見面會上,大家不自覺地講起了當時的情景,慢慢地,每一個人都開始分享自己對那件事情的回憶。

    安娜說:希希始終活在我心里,那天的事情我大概永遠不會忘。

    說實話,她感到特別驚訝,即使希希只是她童年里一起玩過幾次的玩伴,但這件事似乎一直還深深地鎖在她的心底,說完之后她有一種如釋重負的輕松感。

    從沒想過這些年來在希希的這件事上,給在場的每一個人留下了深深的傷痕,包括安娜自己。

    這次見面會上沒有沉痛的悲傷,大家侃侃而談,誰也不舍得離開,活動持續了4個多小時。

    那次之后,安娜回到了學校深造,撿起了本來想放棄的醫學專業。

    安娜告訴我,她當時只有一個想法:“如果這輩子我一定要做點什么的話,我希望自己能在急診室工作。”

    創傷,從來傷害不到離去的人,而是留給那些還活著的人。

    很多人出于自我保護,會為自己筑起心墻,它讓你忘記原本還在的創傷。

    如果說無視創傷被看作是一種榮耀,我認為我們所有的人都在粉飾太平。

    想要活得有希望,首先要做的是打開自己。

    2.

    “在成為母親的那一刻,我感到自己無比的渺小。”一個單親媽媽坐在診室對面這樣和我說。

    自從13歲母親離開自己之后,她還是第一次如此敬畏生命。

    癌癥的陰影一直伴隨著她的整個青春,醫院的藥水味和病危通知書強行填滿了她青春的記憶。

    她對我說:“我曾經花了很多時間去想,到底怎樣才能結束自己的生命?在媽媽生命的最后一年里,這個想法常常讓我半夜驚醒。后來,她過世了,我的世界也變了。我讓自己看起來堅韌不催,我去挑戰各種極限運動。我,甚至在期待一次意外。”

    還沒說完,她就把臉轉向窗外。有些晶瑩的東西,在她的臉上泛著光。

    后來她又來過幾次診所,給我講了后面的故事。

    十九年后,她在醫院接受剖腹產。

    在十幾米的手術室里,她恍惚又回到了13歲那年。她不斷地深呼吸,為了自己的孩子拼盡全力,就和當年母親和死神搏斗一樣。

    只是這一次,她感覺自己第一次戰勝恐懼,感恩生命。

    這是創傷研究所創始人勞拉在《治愈之書》中寫下的故事,也是她收集的數百個真實故事中的一個。這個故事讓她堅信自己在創傷心理的研究,不是為了滿足自我的心理需求,而是一次全新的人生開口。

    因為在13歲那年,她的母親也因癌癥不幸離開了自己。

    美國自然主義者約翰·繆爾曾說過:“當我們想要把某種事物單獨挑出來時,我們會發現它總是跟世間萬物牢牢地捆在一起,總是無法從它們之間那千絲萬縷的聯系中掙脫出來。”

    所以,治愈療傷最好的方式,就是被同樣身陷困境的人解救。

    只有痛過的傷,才會變成堅硬的鋼。

    3.

    時間能治愈一切么?

    每一天,奔波于可能早已偏離夢想的工作,絮絮叨叨的訴說著自己不太如意的生活,回想你和你身邊的人,這樣的生活讓你痛過么?

    這世界上,很多事情,無論我們怎么做,都會后悔。

    不要假裝一切都沒有發生過,不要指望別人的救贖。

    勞拉在《治愈之書》中寫道:上帝之所以創造指紋,是因為他想讓人知道,其實每個人都有傷痕。

    電影《深海長眠》的主角雷蒙·桑佩德羅一生中的26年都在為自己死亡的權力而斗爭。

    他四肢癱瘓并萎縮,平日里都是躺在床上,只有頭可以微微轉動。

    家人對他的照顧無微不至,但這樣的生活對他毫無意義,他甚至不能觸碰三英尺之外那個美麗的女律師朱麗婭,對于別人可以忽略不計的距離,對他來說卻是一個妄想,一種夢。

    生命不是無病呻吟的痛苦,而是面對這些苦難仍能微笑。

    但微笑的前提,是要勇于直面自己內心的創傷。

    痛是要說出來的,心靈的枷鎖永遠在自己身上。

    不要問世界需要什么樣的人,而是問問自己怎樣才能更加活力充沛。

    但愿我們都能苦中有樂,在迷茫的生命旅途中彼此信任,撫平傷口,修煉一顆真正堅韌的心。

    部分內容選自:《治愈之書》江蘇鳳凰文藝出版社

    作者:勞拉?利皮斯基,精神創傷專家、社會工作者、教育家。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

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