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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    大叔還是那個大叔,世界已經不是那個世界

    2017-08-31 . 閱讀: 1,249 views

    /德魯伊(朗讀:微微

    北方秋天來的時候,總不會悄無聲息,多是下過幾場雨,還是不同類型的雨,暴雨、夜雨、綿綿、煙雨,然后溫度就降下來了。

    秋天的雨,是可以聽的,不似夏天暴雨的喧鬧,不似春雨無聲的潤澤。來杯茶,斜倚著窗,耳朵聽著雨聲,眼就瞇起來。風從半開的窗子里擠進來,跑的也不快,皮膚感受的到掠過的涼意和微微舒爽。

    你突然覺得有點累,但不知道哪一塊累。有點不得勁兒,有些別別扭扭,你知道沒什么問題,那種緊繃著卻也無力的感覺很不好。但你會告訴自己,我能怎樣,我還能怎樣?

    一瞬間,你覺得世界都是自己的,下一瞬間,你覺得自己守住自己就不錯了。大叔,中年大叔,秋天來了。

    秋天來了,天氣涼了,還是天氣涼了,秋天來了?這個和中年大叔的疑惑差不多,不知道是年紀到了,就成了大叔,還是大叔模樣出來了,就到了中年。

    世界很無情,矯情最無力。中年大叔愛矯情,怕是后悔自己當初的青春虛度,現在的情境無奈,未來的恐懼未知。奇妙的是,我們沒聽說過童年危機、少年危機、青年危機,怎么到了中年就只剩下“危機”了?

    我們分析需求必找馬斯洛,學習總結少不得金字塔,真到了自身、環境,SWOT能爛了大街。按著“危機”兩字看,沒有優勢、沒有機會,就剩劣勢、威脅了。

    ***

    大叔骨子里是怕失去。大叔不怕得不到,就怕已有的失去。每一次計算“沉沒成本”的結果,“損失厭惡”就越來越強。大叔幾乎每天都算計自己擁有什么,什么不能失去,自己還能堅持多久。職場博弈、生意搏殺、養生鍛煉……其實都是怕失去吧。

    大叔骨子里是不改變。風格是什么?風格是固化。老戲骨是演什么是什么,道行不行的大叔,最多是演什么都那球樣。標簽都是自己貼的,貼的還很牢靠,撕任何一張都傷筋動骨,血呼啦子。大叔能找一百種理由不改變,卻永遠不找一個理由去改變。

    大叔骨子里沒有存在感。大叔是個責任大于存在的人,他被各類責任所描述,崗責清晰,體系完善。但大叔總覺得,換個誰在那個崗位,又如何。于是乎,大叔最愛找自己,玩個文玩、當個驢友、品個茶葉、同學聚個會、玩個微信群……找點存在感。

    大叔的孤獨都是自己作的。大叔愛孤獨,擺出一副孤獨至死的模樣,花樣作死。大叔沒有懂得他的人,“你不懂我”是口頭禪。關鍵是,他連自己也不甚懂,豪情萬丈與萬念俱灰同時存在,無比孤獨與呼朋喚友齊飛。他有無數的圈子,卻沒有懂自己的人。

    大叔骨子里已經放棄選擇。誰都知道選擇是一種能力、也是一種存在,但大叔們已經放棄選擇,等著世界在蹂躪完他,賞點小費,替他選擇。大叔是自己放棄選擇的,因為每一次選擇都是考量或被迫的,壓根沒有問自己,是否自己心甘情愿。

    大叔骨子里是否定自己的。大叔都是無比自信與無比自卑的,他們敏感的無以復加,蛛絲馬跡里、只言片語里評估別人對自己的看法,猜測自己在對方或團隊里的地位。他審視過去大多數都是后悔,審視今天總那么差強人意,未來不敢看不敢想。在否定自己的思想里,自噬且上癮。

    大叔骨子里是不信任世界的。悲觀的世界要做一個樂觀的人,大叔是徹底不信任這個世界。大叔很禮貌,但是假惺惺。大叔學不會溫柔平等的看待他人,不是佝僂著看路,就是仰望著天空。他們不信任他人,連自己也不信任。他們能做到社會贊賞的一切,卻壓根不是發自內心。

    大叔骨子里假理性、假矯情。最濃的雞湯一定是大叔熬的,最失去常識論的假理性也是大叔最愛做的。矯情都是給人看的,自己壓根都不信,既不相信能補身體,也不相信能滌蕩心靈。但大叔不矯情誰喜歡啊,大叔不假理性咋能唬住人呢?于是乎,語出成章、毫無常識。

    ***

    秋天五彩斑斕、天高云淡,收獲的季節里,自然習慣性的計較得失。總要尋找收獲的得失,哪里有問題,下次怎么辦。“只有人虧地,沒有地虧人”,但多數時間,大叔能找到最多的理由證明自己的正確,世界的殘酷。

    秋天之后,大地都會荒蕪起來,冷酷起來。于是,大叔惶恐著,大叔惴惴不安,大叔捉襟見肘。

    不過,有一種作物叫冬小麥,那是秋天種的,來年會有收獲。

    左岸記:秋天是大叔的季節,收獲了也開始凋零了,甚至后面還是漫長的冬天在等待。可是,如果你換一種思維,你的人生有無數的春夏秋冬呢,那么階段的成果讓你能很好地渡過寒冬,做得好的話,一年四季還都會是收獲的季節。大叔不是大叔的終結,你才是。

    德魯伊Druid

    德魯伊,70后。理工科碩士,喜歡寫作,職業經理人。 人入中年,攜妻帶子,止思踐行,與世界融洽、與自己坦然,充滿快樂生活的勇氣。 “質樸、靈動、喜悅、淡和”是為人生準則,“于人有用,于己有趣”是為人生標準。 文風以毀雞湯、靜心冥想、兒童教育、心理應用等見長。 著有: 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《不曾孤獨,怎會懂得 2》(散文雜文集,作家出版社出版), 《沒走過的是路,走過的才是人生》(心智成熟心理學作品,作家出版社出版), 《在疲憊的世間任性的活》(散文雜文集,文匯出版社)

    7 Comments On 大叔還是那個大叔,世界已經不是那個世界

    1. 歲月沉淀冗雜復合的大叔,蹉跎不去的銳氣消磨不平的棱角。
      青蔥稚友恩愛故人,悉數歲月結晶,大叔還是那個大叔啊世界還是那個世界。
      無非歲月神偷思緒變幻,孤獨也好矯情也罷,也有人愛著疼著陪著依靠著。
      何必回首過往貪戀虛無,不念過往不畏將來足矣。
      所以秋天到了,沉甸甸的大叔還不回家嗎。

    2. 作者把“大叔”寫成了悲哀,沒有一絲成熟飽滿的味道。滿篇均是“大”齡的無奈與哀怨,絲毫不見“叔”的智慧與沉著。作者寫的只是一個中年老男人罷了。

    3. 自己從畢業以來,也成了叔叔。

    4. 20歲、40歲都是一個人最富有的時候。前者擁有青春,后者擁有智慧。德叔這是因秋雨而多愁善感?

    5. 大叔的心思我等確實難以揣摩啊

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