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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    中國式相親鄙視鏈: 明碼標價的愛情,我一斤都不要

    2017-08-06 . 閱讀: 1,709 views

    1.

    記得念大學時,學校有一個地方,一直是我的禁地。

    雖然我老想去了,但從羞澀靦腆的大一開始,一直墨跡到故作老成的大四,我都沒鼓起勇氣,擔心去了被笑話。

    說到這,有朋友可能猜到了,一定是那吊著各種罩杯bra的女生宿舍吧——還真不是,而是匯集了全球各地“美女”的英語角。

    后來畢業后,有一回跟老同學聊天,我才發現,幸好當年沒去,因為那角落可謂是魚龍混雜,雖說薈萃著世界各地的好學之才,但也是夾雜著各國各地的民族口音,而且最重要的是,還存在著一個不大不小的鄙視鏈:

    鄙視鏈的頂端是來自歐洲帝國的留學生,他們往下鄙視著戰斗民族俄羅斯,俄羅斯是鄙視日韓口音,小日韓則是不知好歹地鄙視我們大中華的chinenglish,至于我們友好熱情的中國同胞,也是一樣,只不過我們鄙視的是越泰菲和非洲列強......

    所以,去到那兒,不但英語可能越學越差,洋妞自然是指望不上的,沒準還會把好不容易學了十幾年的普通話給扔了。

    有意思的是,最近,各大媒體曝出的北京著名“相親角”,也出現了這么一條赤裸裸的鄙視鏈。

    同樣的道理,在此要奉勸大家,一般的中產小戶,就別去湊熱鬧了,因為你不但沒辦法脫單,沒準還會把愛的信念給脫丟了。

    2.

    不過話說回來,跟當年英語角不同的是,這個鄙視鏈還是比較“公平”的,有一張非常清晰的相親價目單——完全是不坑不騙明碼標價地鄙視著。

    在這張價目單上,一共分為六個壁壘森嚴的等級:頂配、高配、標配、低配、簡配你不配考慮

    具體我們來看看,所謂的頂配是一個怎樣的標準:

    首先不管男女,北京戶口都是必須的。

    其次,男人資產要在561萬以上,學位要碩士以上,女的則需要貌美如花,月薪過2萬,本科或碩士,而且跟男人一樣,也是需要有房有車,房子還得是東城、西城和海淀房。

    接下來,我們跳過中間的鏈條,直接去到鄙視鏈的最下端。在簡配里,女博士和女強人赫赫在列,果斷躺槍。

    如果說,大家對女博士和女強人有偏見還可以理解的話,那么接下來的這條,我相信很多人都跟我一樣,徹底表示無語了:女孩子只要屬羊,都屬于在最底端的你不配考慮范圍。

    之所以會有如此荒唐,主要是源于民間一個“十羊九不全”的說法。

    意思是說,屬羊的人命不好,十個人中,有九個會家人不全,不是從小沒父母,就是中途喪偶,要么就沒兒沒女。

    對此,我們只要用腳趾頭去想一下就知道,這完全是封建迷信嘛。

    只不過,這種荒謬的說法,到底是怎么產生的呢?

    追本溯源,其實一共有三個方面的原因:

    首先得追溯到大清帝國,那真是亂世之年,為了推翻慈禧(屬羊)的滿清政權,民間便拼命宣稱羊女不好;

    至于第二個原因,則要怪到袁世凱的頭上。此公同樣屬羊,當年嚷著要復辟,結果人人喊打;

    等到了建國時,當時的副統帥林彪也是屬羊,可因為反革命活動,被打倒了,同時也連累了屬羊的同胞們。

    也就是說,屬羊不好的說法,完全是歷史的產物。要知道,港臺那邊,就根本就沒有屬羊不好之謬論。

    讓人無語的是,這樣的糟粕居然一直保留到了今天,以致有些父母甚至把這個當作硬性標準,真是活該自己的兒女一輩子光棍。

    3.

    還記得2000多年前,在那個戰亂頻頻卻草長鶯飛的春秋時期,我們便有了《詩經》,有了“風雅頌”,更有著“死生契闊,與子成說。執子之手,與子偕老”這般美好的愛情。

    幾千年下來,換了多少朝代,換了多少風月,愛情卻一直是我們心系神往的東西,哪怕董賢跟漢哀帝的純美同志關系,也是被后人歌頌為“斷袖之情”,值得稱贊。

    可沒想到的是,在社會主義的新浪潮下,那些美好而純粹的愛情,已經貨幣化到這般赤裸裸的程度,確實讓人瞠目結舌。

    眾所周知,相親角在全國各地都有,比如上海黃浦區的人民廣場,廣州的天河公園,長沙的烈士陵園,成都的人民公園......不能不承認,其初衷還是挺好的:

    老人家們,在幫孩子物色對象的同時,還能夠聚在一起,交個朋友,解個小悶,聊個大天,何樂而不為。部分離異的父母,就算沒把兒女賣出去,把自己賣出去也算是一件佳事。

    但如果發展成北京那樣的相親鄙視鏈,那就真的太有中國特色了——據了解,部分家長對相親的利益計算是直言不諱的,有人更是坦然聲稱,我兒子才33,不考慮沒北京戶口的姑娘,有戶口殘疾也行

    試問,這樣明碼標價、以利為導的愛情,就算結成了婚姻,能夠伴我們度過漫漫的余生嗎?

    4.

    在電影《志明與春嬌2》里,有一幕講到春嬌去相親角相親——說實話,那還是我第一次看到這樣的場景。當時的感覺,還真的是跟香港過來的春嬌一樣,內心是無比的震驚。一種魔幻現實主義的感覺,更是油然而起。

    值得一提的是,這部電影拍完后,本來就熱鬧的北京朝陽公園相親角,也立馬變得更加紅火了。

    如今,時隔多年,春嬌最終還是嫁給了志明,選擇了愛情,而不是價目單上頂配的徐崢所扮演的SAM。可現實中多少的我們,卻在不經意間,讓愛情給資本化了。

    雖說,婚姻這種形式的最初起源,是因為經濟的關系,但發展至今,婚姻早已演變成一份神圣的有關愛的契約,而不是明碼標價的金錢關系。

    要知道,論斤購買的愛情,就算能買到相居的房子,也買不到相愛的心房。

    總而言之,都說世間有錢好,先重衣衫后重人,但這樣用算盤算出來的愛情,我一斤都不想要,蓋因杜拉斯所言:

    “愛之于我,不是肌膚之親,不是一蔬一飯,它是一種不死的欲望,是疲憊生活中的英雄夢想。”

    左岸記:彼此相信愛情,把相愛放在婚姻的首位去考慮的情侶是對生活最有底氣的人,也許沒有比較是不知道,而且生活無可再重新選擇,但認定了就勇敢去堅守,這是生活最強者的表現,是英雄,而有這樣的心,這樣的勇氣,我想生活絕對不會太差。


    作者簡介:沈萬九,情感作家,解夢咨詢師,代表作《世界是自己的,活出你喜歡的樣子》。微信公眾號:沈萬九。

    沈萬九

    一手是風,一手是劍,我的夢想就不會太遠......

    3 Comments On 中國式相親鄙視鏈: 明碼標價的愛情,我一斤都不要

    1. 還有六配,放在小城市,只能屬于我不配了。

    2. 這種代相親有很多是上一輩的觀念,你和上一輩能說個明白愛情嗎??

    3. 剛畢業就被逼得開始相親

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