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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    太強很累,其實不強更累

    2016-01-26 . 閱讀: 4,433 views

    文/左岸花開

    在大學里,是敷衍度日勉強畢業;還是爭分奪秒,專業、社交,哪項都不能落下?

    臨近畢業,是選擇考研,賭一個也許更好,但卻不確定的未來;還是隨便找一份工作,平淡安穩?

    工作兩三年,新鮮勁散去,是接著奮勇向上;還是調到一個清閑的崗位,歲月靜好?

    如果提出以上問題的是一個女生,那么大部分的七大姑八大姨加上路人都會說,姑娘不要太辛苦了,姑娘不要太強。

    因為太強很累。

    好像有那么點道理。在這個世界里,好像讓姑娘不要太累,天經地義。可是不要太強,到底是什么意思?不要太強,過得就真的比較好一些嗎?

    Paloma是巴西一家電視臺的女記者。2008年的時候,我們就認識。當時,北京奧運會,我給那家電視臺的奧運報道團當翻譯,她是那個報道團最年輕且是唯一的女記者。

    那一年,是大二的暑假,我看著全天候24小時連軸轉的記者報道團,瞬間明白了為什么這個行業絕大多數都是男生,且做得出色的也都是男生。

    很簡單。因為電視行業太累了啊。且不說能不能熬夜,就是同樣需要幫攝像拿三腳架、坐在任何地上都能開始編片的能力,女生確實天然弱勢。

    Paloma是體育記者。我問她,巴西是不是也和全世界任何一個地方一樣,成為著名電視臺的出鏡記者,特別特別困難?女生做電視,是不是特別累?

    當時,我記得已經一個通宵沒睡覺的巴西姑娘,寥寥數語。她說,做電視確實太累了,這個行業你要做得強就很累啊。我以為她敷衍我,沒認真回答,但是還有下半句。

    “可是,其實不強更累啊。”

    后來的很多個時刻,我都深深感受著這句話的力量。

    畢業季,大家都說找工作難,可是總有那些大神們,手里握著一把的offer,挑挑揀揀,羨煞旁人。而我們卻忘記了大神們的大學是怎么過的,大神們有漂亮的成績單、出色的社會活動表現、500強的實習經歷。他們在拼命為這一切努力的時候,我們在一旁看著,撇撇嘴說,女生不要太強了,你看她們多累。

    當她們輕松在一眾offer里挑挑揀揀的時候,其實輪到我們累的時候到來了。跑了n場宣講會,卻連能去面試的機會都很難得到;從秋天到冬天再到春天,找了大半年工作,依然沒有一個滿意的offer;即使有了offer,我們又嫌起薪太低,上升空間有限。

    不強,是不是更累?

    而這僅僅是一個開始。從這個節點開始,我們做著味同嚼蠟的工作。想說要不然還是隨便混混吧,反正干多干少,工資都一樣,要那么辛苦干嘛。于是,我們再一次選擇了easy模式,上班淘寶,下班收快遞,就這么過了幾年,覺得居然也還不錯。然后,等到五年分水嶺出來的時候,我們望著再次出國深造的費用,望著直線上升的房價,望著手頭上雞肋般的工作,無力感是不是難以阻擋。

    不強,是不是更累?

    然后我們在父母的支持下買了房子,成了家,面對每個月必須要還的房貸,你還敢放棄手頭上雞肋但卻有穩定收入的工作嗎?

    這是一個不強的惡性循環。不強,讓我們只能抓住手上現有的,不敢冒險,不敢放棄;也讓我們喪失了更多選擇的機會,做著十年如一日簡單、重復的工作。不要太強,過得真的就比較好一些嗎?

    2014年的時候,我在世界杯賽場上再次遇到了Paloma,在媒體中心里遇見六年沒有見過也鮮有問候的故人,激動之心難表。她驚訝于,我也成為了一名記者,并且在她的國家做了一名駐外記者。而我驚訝于,這個告訴我“可是,其實不強更累”的姑娘,已經成為了她所在電視臺的當家花旦。

    她不再需要坐在地上剪片子,不再需要做那些大牌記者做剩下的選題,不再需要對著自己不喜歡的體育項目,強顏歡笑。她在一個視足球為生命的國度里,成為了當家足球記者。

    太強辛苦嗎?其實答案是肯定的。一定辛苦。

    最開始,她從為球隊接機送機的記者做起,小個子的Paloma淹沒在那些人高馬大的男記者中。一點一點,她爭取到了2008年北京奧運會的機會,她成為了報道團唯一的女記者。再后來,萬眾矚目的世界杯,她是當家一姐,全程有最好的機位、最熱的話題、最優先的連線時間。她可以選擇她想做的內容,拍她想拍的故事,做她想做的采訪。

    強大,意味著你在一個團隊里有優先的選擇權,在職業生涯里,你可以盡可能地走那些有效的路。那些暫時看上去不累的工作,到最后失去的卻是最重要的——選擇的權力。

    曾經有一個小女孩問我,覺得什么樣的人生最好。我仔細想過以后,成為了我一直到現在的答案。

    我覺得自由最重要。我想要一個自由自在的人生,不是要隨時隨地可以出去旅游,不是要上班不受領導約束,而是在每一個我想要改變,想要嘗試一種不同的生活,想要再往前走一步的時候,我永遠都有選擇的權力和能力。

    而這一切的前提,是且只能是讓自己變得強大起來,即使這樣做很累。

    強大的女人

    左岸記:這是非常偉大的宣言,強大而獨立的女子才是生活的真正贏家,永遠都擁有著自主選擇的權力和能力,去過自己想要的生活。那些甘愿或者喜歡做小女人的人不是不可以,但也請為喜歡強大、喜歡獨立的女人們鼓掌和喝彩,她們其實過的一點都不累,卻更加的精彩。還有那些自我感覺良好的男人們。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

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