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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    《巴爾扎克傳》閱后記

    2016-01-25 . 閱讀: 1,170 views

    文/左航道

    《巴爾扎克傳》這本書有700頁,應該說是很厚,這是我從頭讀完的第一本書。我讀書過于隨意,這是不好的習慣。讀書在一些方面的好處比較清晰。這些好處,我暫時難以組織出精確的語言。其中的邏輯和道理可以圍繞著“自我認同”這個詞展開。我們的自我認同是通過他人或社會上流行的概念構建的。而通過這樣的構建,我們束縛于他人的觀點。當社會風氣變得糟糕,那么我們每個人也就陷入了無窮的煩惱。而書籍,那些人生的過來人說的話,就像永恒的光明照亮了我的心靈和道路。我們從這些人物中,不管是大人物還是小人物,確定了自己的某種情緒、思想、行為的正當以及潛質。而這些鼓勵是難以從我們身邊的某個人中得到的。

    巴爾扎克出生在一個律師家庭。在當時的法國屬于市民階層。巴爾扎克的青少年過得并不好,缺乏家庭關愛。和大多數作家一樣,巴爾扎克同樣經歷這些:孤獨,受挫,大量的閱讀。我不大清楚心理學的具體知識,但我基本可以認為:青少年受挫的經歷使人產生強大的動力。形容巴爾扎克的一句話,即青少年的巴爾扎克總是一種不可名狀的自大。可以看到一個人的天才資質。

    巴爾扎克為人極為放蕩,好色,貪財。這是他平庸的一面。唯一能確信他的偉大的一個細節是:當巴爾扎克沉迷在寫作中,他可以放棄其他一切。這個時候的他才稱得天才。所謂的天才應該可以這樣定義吧:他可以專注在某一項工作中而忘掉其他一切。仿佛這一項工作具有魔力,把人深深地束縛住了。世人都知道巴爾扎克有一部《人間喜劇》,這部《人間喜劇》太大了,單就數量看,我估計沒有人寫的書比巴爾扎克多。這項文學事業是如此地偉大,在旁人看來,一定會認為巴爾扎克是一個不折不扣的圣徒。而巴爾扎克其實是在追求財富和貸款還債的一個商人式的人生過程中完成的。盡管巴爾扎克個人鄙視商人,但他的人生卻是商人式的。

    巴爾扎克的第一個情人,是年齡大他20歲以上的貴族夫人貝爾尼。還未成名的稚嫩的巴爾扎克的初戀極為可愛。這其中羞澀,大膽,熱烈,膽怯是鮮活的,熾熱的。年長的女人具有特別的魅力。她們的優雅風韻,成熟智慧以及母親般的愛憐對于一個受挫而富有才華的人是最具吸引力的。巴爾扎克一生中交往了好幾位這樣的貴族夫人。他在這些情人周旋。對于愛情,他情感真摯又見異思遷。這位貝爾尼夫人給予巴爾扎克的幫助和愛是無可替代的(她并不責怪巴爾扎克),可是巴爾扎克又將“唯一愛過的女人”一詞贈予給了一個烏克蘭貴族。這個來自沙皇俄國的年輕富貴的女人,陪伴了巴爾扎克的最后歲月,的確盡力做到了巴爾扎克妻子(唯一得到名分的)的本分。但她在巴爾扎克死后也結交了兩位情人。所以,以中國人的眼光太難理解法國或西方的愛情觀了。

    巴爾扎克一生是在艱難中度過的。他貪戀豪華的房子,奢侈的用品,以貴族的吃穿用度為準。他愛好投機生意,但總是虧得干干凈凈的。他的寫作事業給他帶來豐厚的收入,但更多的錢財來自情人的資助與借貸。綜合種種,他的一生是艱難度日的。這也間接導致了他的過早的死亡。五十歲左右就死掉了。

    巴爾扎克的寫作人生,可以給愛好寫作的人以啟發:我們的生活經歷,就是巨大的素材寶庫。通過主觀的組合,添加某種想象,可以達到主觀的文學效果。我們活了二十年多年了,能寫的東西,我覺得至少是一個卡夫卡的量。

    巴爾扎克傳

    左岸記:《人間喜劇》背后作者的悲劇,如果作品本身不能為作者本人解決人生問題,那么作品對于他人存在著怎樣的意義?我想,意義在于事還是那些個事,但理解不同,經歷不同,能力不同賦予每個人的意義也就不同,這也就是為什么“一千個觀眾眼中有一千個哈姆雷特”的原因。

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

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