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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    慢慢地變老

    2015-04-20 . 閱讀: 2,879 views

    文/文昌

    “嘀嗒,嘀嗒”,指針在一秒一秒的轉動,時間在一點一點的流逝。安靜的聆聽這聲響,心里總會揚起一些莫名的恐慌,總感覺那是死神的腳步聲,慢慢的向我靠近。終究還是要做點什么,才不辜負這大好的時光。看著周遭瞬息萬變的世界,時時都有新聞曝出,刻刻都有股市交易,稍有遲緩便會跟不上節奏。對于這些信息都置若罔聞的我來說,只希望時間能慢點走,我能慢慢的變老。

    有時只要生活中的某一習慣固化下來,便不會多想,照著做就行,這樣就能安心去做自己喜歡做的或者自認為重要的事情。大學時曾有過這樣的念想,要是我能在圖書館里看一輩子的書該有多好啊!每天都能通過書本了解哲人的思想,甚至了解大洋彼岸的人們的生活狀態和他們過往的歷史。足不出戶就可以最大限度的享受那份自在。

    可我終究抵擋不住時間的流逝,外在的變遷,轉眼就到了畢業時節,也曾試著通過考研多待會,再多抱會大學的大腿,可惜心有余而力不足。考研折戟之后只能選擇參加工作,看著周遭的同學一個一個背起行囊奔向祖國大地,要不刻意可能此生難以再見,忍不住淚濕衣襟。看著所有的美好都悄然離去,才了悟到時光一起在走,只是我們渾然不知罷了。此時我想狠狠的拽住它的手,讓它慢點走。

    一直不理解馬路上為什么成天都會有車子在走,甚至還把馬路堵成停車場,他們到底在忙些什么?不能停下匆忙的腳步歇一歇么?回頭再想,其實是我偏執了,我總在從自己的想法單一的看待這個世界。日常的生活平淡得有些平庸,宛如平靜的湖面驚不起一絲漣漪,其實水里暗流涌動,水里的魚兒,蝦兒構成的世界也是喧囂不已。一直在變,人也一直在單線行走,在公平的時間面前都沒有回頭路。

    小時候總是盼望自己早點長大,至少在大家一起吃飯的時候,不用自己坐在旁邊的小板凳上等大人來夾菜。不用在想說話的時候,總聽到那句告誡“大人說話,小孩別插嘴”。 可以自己支配金錢買喜歡吃的東西。可等我真正長大了,那些向往的東西變得索然無味,也不過如此。還是小時候好,還有人幫你夾菜。

    這樣的心態有些不合時宜,跟不上外界的步伐,總是被動的亦步亦趨。面對世俗的要求總是有些力不從心,有時只能選擇像鴕鳥一樣埋著腦袋,假裝看不見。按我這個年齡的要求,應該去找個人戀愛,結婚,或者此前還得準備好房子和車子,想想這些老大難的問題,我依然只能懷抱著對美好生活的幻想,只是享受自己現有的狀態,跑步,看書,寫字。就這樣慢慢的變老,難道不好嗎? 可惜對于未來終究得準備點什么,才不至于當我老去,除了時間爬過留下的滿臉皺紋,變的一無所有吧!

    按照自己的想法一意孤行,未嘗不可。只是看著周遭世界的變遷,我依然以自己的節奏慢悠悠走,有時真的會錯過很多。每次乘坐飛機,從來只會擔心他會晚點,讓我久等,而不會考慮自己因為趕不上而錯過航班。因為按我的經驗,從來就沒有出現過這樣的差錯。直到有一次只提前半個小時到機場,居然不讓辦理值機手續了,眼睜睜看著飛機不能坐上去。我反省著自己的節奏,也深刻的領悟到,外在的世界可能真的不是我們想的那樣,哪怕寫進教科書的歷史都不一定就是事實,更別說按照自己的想法進行。

    古希臘哲學家普羅泰格拉說過“人是萬物的尺度”,現在倒覺得時間才是萬物的尺度。時間會一直流下去,可人不會的,人不過是宇宙的一小撮塵埃,微不足道。想到這倒心生幾許敬畏。很多事情我們嫌棄他來的太慢而不愿去做,著急這著急那,似乎也沒做成什么。每次心急煩躁不堪的時候,看著電腦前的綠蘿,我知道它不會因為我的著急而瞬間長大,它需要經過時間的洗禮,一點一點的長大。

    我知道死神在嘀嗒聲中一步一步向我靠近。慢慢的變老,對我來說是一種仁慈,那還有無常呢? 這種不確定的危機感讓我不敢懈怠,我想好好的享受塵世的繁華和生命的燦爛,甚至不愿多睡會,因為將來我會睡很久很久。我希望自己能慢慢的變老,不會因虛度而在老去的時候一無所有。

    (文昌·溫州·四月·微信號:changchang010)

    時光的意義

    左岸記:時間存在的意義是相對的。我們都需要時間,可是時間是無法替代和換取的。時間存在的意義是可以通過各種各樣的事物體現出來的。對于商人來說,時間就是金錢;對于教師來說,時間就是知識;對于醫生來說,時間就是生命。時間用在哪里,成就就在哪里。最愛的文章之一,蘇軾的《前赤壁賦》有一段話:“夫天地之間,物各有主。茍非吾之所有,雖一毫而莫取。惟江上之清風,與山間之明月,耳得之而為聲,目遇之而成色。 取之無禁,用之不竭。是造物者之無盡藏也,而吾與子之所共適。”

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

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