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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    如果今天的快樂會變成明日的痛苦,那還要快樂嗎?

    2015-04-19 . 閱讀: 3,580 views

    文/藍菲杰

    大四畢業前夕,有一個問題一直困擾著我:如果相聚終會離別,那此時還處在相聚共歡的我們,應該如何面對明日離別時的種種不舍?一句“他日有緣再見”,各自背上行囊,走向不一樣的方向,你知道,有些人可能這輩子都不會再見了。有此感傷,突然覺得彼時的快樂不過是一種短命的情緒,在時間的催化下,它終會變成離愁別緒。既然如此,現時的快樂又有何意義?

    不過,我并沒有在此問題上繼續糾結下去,因為我又問了自己一個問題:如果活著都會死去,那是不是就別活了?

    從小到大,我們接受的教育,無形中都告訴我們,自己是生活在一個二元對立的世界。父母老師教我們男女有別,電視里的人有好壞之分,顏色有白便會有黑,有光明也一定會有黑暗。等我們長大一點,會發現自己身上的情緒同樣具有二元對立性:有快樂,但也有與快樂相對的難過;有期盼的興奮,就會有達不到所望的失落。再長大一些,我們會愛,也會恨;會熱情高漲,也會心灰意冷;會因為一個人而奮不顧身,也會因為同一個人而畏縮不前。

    只是在這個二元對立的世界,我們不可能一直擁有某種積極的情緒,甚至在我們開始擁有這種積極情緒的同時,也開啟了對立面情緒的儲存庫,而且這種積極情緒的程度有多深,其對立的消極情緒的程度也一定會有多深。就像你曾經深愛過一個人,可是有一天,當他/她選擇離你而去,那些美好的回憶不僅會瞬間失去光彩,而且還會成為你悲傷、壓抑、悔恨、憤怒等一系列痛苦情緒的源頭。當然,更普遍的情況是,很多人將愛情視作浪漫甜蜜的源泉,一如兩個人剛開始一段戀情時那般,整個世界似乎因為另一半而完整。等到有一天,發現這個人的某些做法讓自己感覺不舒服,便會開始責備埋怨,甚至暴力相向。我身邊有不少朋友,都屬于癡男怨女型,剛開始如膠似漆,你儂我儂,但久而久之,便互相指責,抱怨彼此的不是,最親密的戀人,成為最親密的“罪人”。

    愛這種東西,曾給予我們多少歡樂,就會給予我們多少痛苦。正如佛陀所云:“一切恩愛會,無常難得久。”所有的二元對立,都離不開無常循壞的本質。一個生命的誕生,就注定從此以后的道路是離死亡越來越近;我們會得到某樣東西,有一天我們也會失去那樣東西;某種形式上你成功了,但某一天你也會在這種形式下栽了跟頭。我們把這個世界二元對立化,并在意識中對二元進行判斷,生是好的,死便是不好的,得到是好的,失去便是不好的。于是乎,我們總會對生命中出現的“不好的”出現抗拒心理,并因此產生種種痛苦的情緒。

    埃克哈特·托利在《當下的力量》中說過:「在形式層面,每一個人遲早都會“失敗”,每一個成就最終都會化為烏有。」只要是我們思維判定為“好的”東西,并認同于其帶給自身的快樂與滿足感,終有一天,這個“好的”東西會失去,會改變,甚至變成“不好的”東西,我們會失去這種賴以汲取快樂和滿足感的“形式”,迎來事情的另一面。

    回到開頭的問題上,如果今天的快樂會變成明日的痛苦,那還要快樂嗎?可能你會說,既然快樂終會變成痛苦,那快樂又有何意義?就像某些曾經在感情中受過傷害的人,因為曾經的經歷,在很長一段時間內都難以放下,不愿意接受新的戀情,也是因為害怕會帶來跟上一段感情同樣的結局。但這些想法未免有些跑偏。生命中那些美好的事情和事物值得我們去欣賞、去享受,只是我們不應在它們身上尋找形式上的認同或滿足,否則你又怎么去面對它們消失時那種仿似從自己身上撕裂某個肢體一般的痛苦呢?世界在無常的循環中流動,“好的”與“不好的”又有什么絕對?生命的河流本就一直在前進,學會不再執著于“好的”,放棄抗拒“不好的”,用心活在當下,我們才能感受到生命流動時的那種與上帝同在的寧靜。

    情緒

    左岸記:沒有永恒的存在,只有永恒的意義!就情緒而言,我們身上所具有的種種,喜怒哀樂驚恐思,是沒有根本的好壞之分的,關鍵在于我們對這些情緒的管理上,一個被情緒控制的人,是無法處理好引發情緒的事情的。

    處理任何事最為不可取的就是單線思維。

    在單線思維的人眼里,世界非常簡單:非黑即白,非此即彼。有些道理很簡單,但是被視而不見。形成的原因應該有很多、會比較復雜,不過其中一種情況是:缺少駕馭能力,所以守住一隅。比如,不能在享受孤獨和在人群中狂歡都游刃有余,所以就只選擇一樣,而且,為了掩飾這種能力的稀少,就否定其中一樣,“是我不要,不是不能。”否定了,就不是自己的問題而是他人的問題了。這樣很省事,很省力。于是可以安睡在自己的夢境中。——蕭秋水

    左岸

    愛讀書,愛生活!

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