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    → 左岸讀書,一如既往。

    望“川”秋水:淺淺遇 淡淡忘

    2015-04-15 . 閱讀: 3,041 views

    文/圖:韋宇教

    時移世易,不是無情,亦非薄幸。只是這一路走來,我們總會偶遇、巧遇和艷遇很多人,但真正能停留駐足,走入緊閉心扉的卻沒有幾個。其實,你我都知道,人生是一條單程線,而生命是終將荒蕪的渡口,終有那么一天,連我們自己也都是過客。

    4年前,我有個同事,他叫何川。

    4年后,我有個朋友,他叫小川。

    何川其實就是小川,小川其實不小,比我年長,但比我樂觀。

    他笑起來,總給人一種鄰家哥哥的感覺。但我不知道,他喜歡的那些小妹妹是否也擁有同樣的感覺。

    他最常說的一句話是:“不樂觀還能怎么樣”。

    每次說這句話的時候,他用的都是陳述句,而不是反問句。可見,他骨子里確實是樂觀多于悲觀的。但是,他也始終做不到沒心沒肺。就像他每次跟我打羽毛球,輸掉比賽后,他臉上呈現的雖然依舊是鄰家哥哥的暖男表情,但腦子里卻早已奔騰過上千上萬只草泥馬。

    淺淺忘

    有一天,我跟小川說,我寫個關于你的文章吧,你想要個怎么樣的風格的。

    川說,不費腦子的,簡單粗暴的,雅俗共賞的。

    我說,好的。別的還有什么忌諱的嗎?

    川說,不寫愛情就好。

    我說,去他媽的愛情,都是過眼云煙的東西。我的筆下只關乎生活、夢想與現實,而與愛情無關。

    川說,孺子可教。

    我說,川呀,這我得和你學。你這大俗大雅不虛假,才算真文藝,才算真性情。

    川說,我想去臺灣,點一杯咖啡,在誠品書店坐一天。

    我說,川呀,我的心殘了,而且護照最快也得過完年能辦好,你先替我走吧,記得給我帶個誠品書店自己的書簽。

    有一天,我告訴小川,我說川啊,你不知道吧!你的故事我已經在昨晚下班回家的路上,在854路公交車和13號線、8號線、昌平線的地鐵里,用ipad2的一個字一個字給打出來了。

    他在QQ上給我發來一個「鄙視」的表情,接著是一句話——你手真是夠閑的。

    我說我老了,滿腦子的回憶,都無處安放了,真沒地方閑著。

    淡淡想

    有一天,他在QQ上問我,你看《推拿》了么?

    我說電影我沒看,不過我倒是挺喜歡聽電影片尾曲,堯十三的《他媽的》這首歌的。

    他在歌里略帶沙啞和憂傷的唱道:

    媽媽,我愛上一個姑娘,可是她在別人的床上呻吟。

    我想知道,她是不是真的快樂。

    我去問她,她沒有回答!

    媽媽,我做了一個夢,我夢見我在紅色的天空飛翔。

    可是我知道我沒有翅膀,所以我死了,就像我出生一樣。

    ……

    我對他說,這是不是像極了你和很多人的愛情和夢想。你有沒有這樣想過?

    他聽完沉默了。我能感覺到他在電腦的另一端,肯定微笑不再,而是直直的盯著屏幕,然后垂下身子,呆若木雞。

    幾分鐘之后,他QQ回復了我:你不是說過你的筆下無關愛情的嗎?

    我說我喜歡的是這首歌,喜歡的是這個曲調,與歌背后的故事和唱歌的人無關。

    正如多年前我喜歡那首詭譎凄迷的《嫁衣》,喜歡聽清華才女吳虹飛一遍又一遍撕心裂肺的重復唱著:一夜春宵不是不是我的錯!

    川跟我的QQ聊天對話框沉寂了好久,沒有任何表情,也沒有任何文字。

    在我點擊鼠標要關掉聊天窗口的那一刻,出現了三行字,還有三個感嘆號。

    算了吧!

    不要緊!

    會過去的!

    一種恍若隔世的感覺悄然襲來!看完,我瞬間無語。

    我雙手交叉,拖著下巴,不知道回應些什么。

    打了一行字又給刪了,接著打字,接著一個個刪掉。

    然后是長久的沉默。

    然后我戴上耳機,開始聽《他媽的》。

    單曲循環到第三遍的時候,我狠狠的灌了半杯涼水,然后打了一行字:

    時光如水,一切慈悲,都是懂得。多少懂得,都是至純的柔情,裝點了半暖時光。或許,能遇見,便是生命里最美好的事。

    然后我關掉了對話框。

    在心里默念:川

    愿,有人陪你顛沛流離,賞盡人間的風景與風情。

    愿,你喜歡的女孩,不再迷戀別人的床,四處呻吟。

    愿,你的夢想種子,可以落地生根,破土而出,開花結果。

    望穿秋水

    這也許只是個故事!

    但,川是個真實的人。活生生的存在,有血有肉,有愛有恨。一如,我隔三差五就要吸一次的霧霾。一如,上班族已經習慣了漲價后的北京地鐵。一如,即便是清明節已過,北京的春天依舊寒意襲人。

    某一個一起外出賞景拍片的下午,小川突然問我,哥,你真寫了。我說,是的,我寫真的了。

    然后,我們相視而笑。

    那個下午,天很藍,風很輕,云很白,時光很慢,日子很美。

    阿Sam在《不過,一場生活》的明信片上曾寫道:經過的故事都像枝頭開過的花一樣,即便有天凋落了,也會融進土里,扎扎實實地成為記憶的養分。如此說來的話,小川所經歷和曾經擁有過的養分足以滋養他的今生和下一個輪回了。

    “取次花叢懶回顧,半緣修道半緣君。”那些曾驚艷過的時光,那些曾溫柔過的歲月,在北京四月的春風里,被吹到了一個叫做“遠方”的地方,一個我和小川誰也不知道,誰也未曾涉足的地方。

    就像那些年的淺淺遇,就像這些年的淡淡忘,就像我們都曾有過的望穿秋水,就像我們都曾絕口不提的天涯各安。

     

    左岸記:想通了,就不會那么在乎吧,可是分明放不下,那么還是需要用心去爭取,讓自己的人生進一步是柳暗花明,退一步也是海闊天空。

    韋宇教

    韋宇教,品牌策劃師,媒體撰稿人,《樂途旅游網》/《搜狐旅游》專欄作家,《北漂期刊》特約作家,旅游達人,獨立攝影師。穿梭沉浮八年策劃江湖,煮字療饑,書無妄之語。偶做行者,在路上,用單反記錄生活印跡,用文字書寫時光細碎。回望素履之往,愿無歲月可回頭。有生之年,幸得所遇——QQ/278135479 微信/weiyujiao1985

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